Is it ever *ok* to cheat?

[Dagney]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

I like what you had to say, Dagney. I hope to have a relationship of mutual respect like that someday. Respecting, not only by not cheating, but with your words, and actions, and the way you live your life.

Through some my fault and some not my fault, I have failed to find that so far.

Cheers to you and yours!

Thanks Shawnee

I have always thought that relationships were best when a strong foundation is laid. I treat people the way I wish to be treated (for the most part, I'm not always perfect, especially when the bitch engine is revving). And part of that, is to treat people with the respect that I'd like to be given.

I can't remember who said it, and I think it was Zippy actually - that a marriage is not 50/50 - you can't just give 'half'. You have to give your everything - and so does your partner - it's 100/100. To me, cheating, either physically, emotionally, or in any other manner, takes away from that 100/100 ratio, and damages the foundation of the relationship - it chips away at the trust and respect that you have for your partner, and I strongly think that cheating chips away at your own self respect, as well as the self respect of the person you're cheating on. (Been there, done that, being cheated on is devastating)

In regards to the Man, it took me a _long_ time to find him. And well, there are days where I wonder what lottery I won to have him just 'drop' into my life. Some day - I'll put together the story of how we met and what transpired to bring us together. It's an interesting story.

In the past few months, I've figured out that the guys I dated previously (for the most part) did not treat me the way I deserved to be treated. That's partly my fault - because I let them treat me in a way that was less than what I deserved. It was quite the eye opening experience - that's for sure.

I'm not sure what changed actually - if it was finding him, and the recognition of being treated well came after that - or if I changed beforehand, making it the right 'time' in my life for him to find me. I know that in one of our first long conversations, he said that while he felt terrible that I had been through so many painful things in my past, that those things were what eventually made me 'ready' to be found by him - and vice versa of course.

Either way - I'm tremendously glad that we're together

[Shawnee123]

Originally Posted by Dagney

Thanks Shawnee

In the past few months, I've figured out that the guys I dated previously (for the most part) did not treat me the way I deserved to be treated. That's partly my fault - because I let them treat me in a way that was less than what I deserved. It was quite the eye opening experience - that's for sure.

That has been my situation, selling myself short. Actually, my ex husband is a great guy...we are just better at being best friends than we were at being married. But the couple relationships I've had since then I've let them take me for granted.

Your words and feelings are inspiring. I feel that if I don't find that right guy I'll be fine, and I'm not looking for it...but the romantic side of me hopes I win that kind of lottery: a caring, respecting, funny guy who I can count on!