Sprrrruuunnggg!!!

Elspode · 01-31-2007, 12:47 PM

When I was dating my first wife, I lived at home for the early days of our relationship. ExMrs Elspode was very, um, verbally appreciative in those days, and rather loudly so.

One day, after a particularly enthusiastic response on her part, I went upstairs to pee (no bathroom in my basement bedroom), and my mom looked up at me, and said, "Patrick, you'd better quit screwing that girl down there, or your stepfather is going to be pissed."

As I really had no secrets from my mom, there was no "getting caught" about it, but it was something of a shock to find out that I wasn't being as subtle about things as I had hoped.

As to catching my folks, well, that was an audio-only incident as well. When I was about ten, I suddenly asked my mom if she had bad dreams sometimes. "Why?", she asked me. "Because, I hear you moaning sometimes at night in your room, and it sounds like you're scared or hurt."

Needless to say, I didn't figure that one out until some years later. How was I to know there were noises involved in sex?

glatt · 01-31-2007, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

I suddenly asked my mom if she had bad dreams sometimes. "Why?", she asked me. "Because, I hear you moaning sometimes at night in your room, and it sounds like you're scared or hurt."

What did she tell you? Do you remember?

Flint · 01-31-2007, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

"Because, I hear you moaning sometimes at night in your room, and it sounds like you're scared or hurt."

On Family Guy, Lois resists Peter's advances bacause Stewie is in the room. Peter tells her "He'll just think I'm hurtin' ya" . . .

Elspode · 01-31-2007, 01:12 PM

As I recall, she sort of skillfully dodged the question, claiming that, yes, she did sometimes have bad dreams, and she hoped I wasn't scared. It was the subtext, her looking sideways at my stepdad and smiling, and later laughing when I left the room. I pulled all of that together years later, after I'd actually made a girl make those sorts of noises. Well, that is, I *think* I made a girl make those noises. Could be she would have made them anyway even if I hadn't been doing what I was doing to her. I'm not sure, because I couldn't hear very well with her thighs over my ears and all.

Sheldonrs · 01-31-2007, 01:17 PM

I have a fondness for doing it in unusual places. Universal Studios back lot comes to mind. ;-)

But I've only been "caught" a few times and it was by friends. Usually they just join in. :-D

SteveDallas · 01-31-2007, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheldonrs

I have a fondness for doing it in unusual places.

What, like the back of a Volkswagen?

glatt · 01-31-2007, 01:27 PM

I've done it in the back of a Volkswagen camper. Very comfortable. Highly recommended.

Flint · 01-31-2007, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

What, like the back of a Volkswagen?

Perry Winkle · 01-31-2007, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

What, like the back of a Volkswagen?

That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.

(I'm a sucker of Kevin Smith movies.)

Sheldonrs · 02-01-2007, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheldonrs

I have a fondness for doing it in unusual places. Universal Studios back lot comes to mind. ;-)

But I've only been "caught" a few times and it was by friends. Usually they just join in. :-D

On a picnic table along a hiking trail in Burbank, CA.

Behind the set front of the hotel used in "Murder She Wrote" at Universal Studios Hollywood back lot (WHILE the tour trams were still running)

Behind a car wash at 4am

Back row of a movie theatre (half full)

And a few others. :-)

01-31-2007, 12:47 PM	#1
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	When I was dating my first wife, I lived at home for the early days of our relationship. ExMrs Elspode was very, um, verbally appreciative in those days, and rather loudly so. One day, after a particularly enthusiastic response on her part, I went upstairs to pee (no bathroom in my basement bedroom), and my mom looked up at me, and said, "Patrick, you'd better quit screwing that girl down there, or your stepfather is going to be pissed." As I really had no secrets from my mom, there was no "getting caught" about it, but it was something of a shock to find out that I wasn't being as subtle about things as I had hoped. As to catching my folks, well, that was an audio-only incident as well. When I was about ten, I suddenly asked my mom if she had bad dreams sometimes. "Why?", she asked me. "Because, I hear you moaning sometimes at night in your room, and it sounds like you're scared or hurt." Needless to say, I didn't figure that one out until some years later. How was I to know there were noises involved in sex? __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

01-31-2007, 01:12 PM	#4
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	As I recall, she sort of skillfully dodged the question, claiming that, yes, she did sometimes have bad dreams, and she hoped I wasn't scared. It was the subtext, her looking sideways at my stepdad and smiling, and later laughing when I left the room. I pulled all of that together years later, after I'd actually made a girl make those sorts of noises. Well, that is, I think I made a girl make those noises. Could be she would have made them anyway even if I hadn't been doing what I was doing to her. I'm not sure, because I couldn't hear very well with her thighs over my ears and all. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

01-31-2007, 01:17 PM	#5
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	I have a fondness for doing it in unusual places. Universal Studios back lot comes to mind. ;-) But I've only been "caught" a few times and it was by friends. Usually they just join in. :-D __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

01-31-2007, 01:27 PM	#7
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I've done it in the back of a Volkswagen camper. Very comfortable. Highly recommended.

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