Birds and Bees

[BigV]

Is telling her she's too young to know the best way to handle it?

The "best way" to handle it.... that's far too subjective a measure to answer with any confidence, sorry. A good way? Perhaps, I don't think so, though. You seem to have developed something of a track record here for telling her the truth, telling her the facts. I applaud you for this, and your daughter will too, someday. I think the facts have a place here, too. But I am getting the sense that you're overlooking an important fact, based on the statement I quoted. I think you might be focused on the mechanics (eww nasty), and overlooking the fact that you're uncomfortable talking about it.

That may or may not be related to the fact that she's eight. Eight may or may not be "too young". That's why I'm hedging on answering your question. I think you should acknowledge that fact for yourself, and perhaps share it with her. Not to scare her, but perhaps to emphasize the intensely private nature of the situation. Perhaps tell her that you're overcoming that discomfort to tell her this, but that it is still a very private matter, and that she deserves the same privacy.

The facts are the facts and the uneasiness is all about the associations we attach to the mechanical facts. I'm not an analyst, and I won't try and bluff you with my diagnosis of you and your daughter, pffft. But I'll say that The Talk, while difficult to deliver (more than once) was more difficult for me than it was for the child. I had the most success (for me and for them) keeping these points in mind:

1 -- Don't get all freaked out, it's unhelpful and contagious.

2 -- Just the facts, not the baggage.

3 -- Many small doses is better than one monolithic lecture. Especially at the younger ages, their need/desire to know was much less that what I could teach them.

4 -- For pete's sake, tell the truth. Obvious, I hope.

5 -- Listen too. I might be psyching up to answer question A when they really wanted to know about question B.

6 -- Be prepared to cover this ground more than once. You might have to repeat something they didn't get the first time, or you might have to correct something they don't have right (perhaps from other sources, like the playground or the internet).

7 -- Keep it short.

8 -- Reemphasize your openness to their questions in the future.

Oh, and glatt is absolutely on the mark. I kinda skipped over his answer to the reply box and have only just now read it closely. He's a smart guy.