My F'd Up Past - and Future Hope

[Sundae]

I posted my current issues in other threads, but the precis is that I rowed with HM (my fault - although as monster says good friends don't ascribe blame) and ran to my parents. Good people told me to call him, and I got the balls (note, didn't say grew the balls) tonight.

He was fine. More than fine he was decent. He understands far more than I give him credit for. He is not an "easy touch" - if he was I wouldn't be so worried about my behaviour. But he is a good friend, which makes it worth me worrying about. I promised we'd sit down and have a chat - my offer not his suggestion - and I am going to go back to poor long-suffering Dr B and ask for a review of medication. I describe Dr B as long-suffering because he didn't choose to know me - poor old HM choose this path

So I can go back to my babbas (who I miss enormously) and to my home - yes it is a home and I missed it too. And back to my friend who makes it home and keeps me sane (ish). A terrible burden for a man not even getting my class A blowjobs, and if I really believed in karma I'd be really quite depressed right now. Oh...

Still, if I take karma on board HM must have been a real shit in a previous life to get saddled with me in this one.

Line dancing on Tuesday.

[xoxoxoBruce]

QUESTION ~ Why the fuck would HM, with a successful career and nice home, take you in, spend money and time, trying to straighten out your life?

ANSWER;
A~ He's getting great sex.

B~ He is truly a friend and concerned about you.

We all know the answer is B.

He is not a professional counselor, just a good friend trying his best to help in the best way he can. If you disagree with his assessments, of the cause and effect of your problems, please keep in mind he's doing the best he can.

Considering what he's doing for you, at least trying to do, cut him some slack if he seems to come on too strong. It's because he doesn't want you back sliding or avoiding what, you yourself know, you must do.

Tough love isn't called that for nothing.

[DanaC]

Good points Bruce.

I'd like to expand on one of them:

B~ He is truly a friend and concerned about you.

I'd just like to emphasise for Sundae, the fact that her friendship with HM is not one way. HM gives a lot to her, in terms of roof over her head, emotional support at a very difficult time, understanding when she is unable to cope effectively. But...he will also get something from her: her sparkling wit and conversation, a bunch of shared experiences and references across the years, a level of emotional trust that comes from solid friendship.

I say this, because Sundae has a tendency to paint herself in the worst possible light and I believe sees the friendship as an imbalanced one, whereby he is the one giving and she the one taking. It's never that simple. If he diodn't gain something from the friendship, then it would not have been a constant across the years and Sundae would not now be living in his house...unless he's the kind of guy who just invites anybody to live in his home, he is investing in a friendship that he values.

[ZenGum]

Hang in there SG
I agree with the 63 p. Maybe there's some kind of Karma or something, and right now you could use a bit of good luck. And even if there isn't karma, such a small expense is worth it f it makes you feel significantly better - there is someone worse off than me, I can help people, I am not always receiving help... etc
You've got the ball rolling. Be sure to keep it rolling.

[monster]

Originally Posted by DanaC

Good points Bruce.

I'd like to expand on one of them:

I'd just like to emphasise for Sundae, the fact that her friendship with HM is not one way. HM gives a lot to her, in terms of roof over her head, emotional support at a very difficult time, understanding when she is unable to cope effectively. But...he will also get something from her: her sparkling wit and conversation, a bunch of shared experiences and references across the years, a level of emotional trust that comes from solid friendship.

I say this, because Sundae has a tendency to paint herself in the worst possible light and I believe sees the friendship as an imbalanced one, whereby he is the one giving and she the one taking. It's never that simple. If he diodn't gain something from the friendship, then it would not have been a constant across the years and Sundae would not now be living in his house...unless he's the kind of guy who just invites anybody to live in his home, he is investing in a friendship that he values.

Hear Hear.