Become Hemmingway

[spudcon]

Of course I do. I've got to protect myself and my booze at all costs, as long as it's someone else's cost.
Having decided to call in favors, my first thought was "The Cellar," but discounted that because several Cellarites were unhappy with my immature and simplistic puns and artwork. Some might even feed me to the Giant GW Bush Hating Hobgoblins that lurk in the background of the Cellar.
No, wait! What was I thinking? There is no vast leftwing conspiracy in the Cellar! They all love me there! Someone is working mind control again! And I know who it is! It's...