"Our Songs'

Dingleschmutz · 05-16-2008, 01:58 PM

I searched through the past year and couldn't find a thread about this anywhere. So if one exists, have one of the mods change the title to "Flay the newb" and have at it. Anyway...

I decided to lay out a very important ground rule last night with the new girl I'm kinda seeing just in case we ever start thinking about more. No "our songs". I freaking hate "our songs". I mean I understand when they kinda naturally come about because of circumstances (more on that in a minute), but it's almost worse that way because those songs are usually halfway decent and then can never be listened to again when the relationship ends. At least the songs that are arbitrarily chosen for me against my will (while infuriating) invariably suck, so it's not like I'd ever want to listen to them again anyway. So here are my memorable ones, numbered from least annoying to most annoying.

The Circumstantial Song

4. Crimson and Clover - Tommy James and the Shondells

I love oldies, and this used to be one of my favorite songs. Unfortunately it was ruined for me because I seriously underestimated the girl I was dating at the time. After we'd been hanging out nonstop for about two weeks, I decided to put up an away message on AIM, and all it said was "Crimson and Clover". One of my favorite games is to be the only one in on the joke, and I figured putting something cryptic like that up would drive her nuts and I could just play dumb and flirty for awhile. Except she knew the first line was "I don't hardly know her but I think I could love her" and immediately knew it was about her. This not only deprived me of my fun little head game, it also eventually robbed me of the song. It's also part of the reason I fell so hard for her. She was the only person who could ever match my deviousness, and we could have whole cryptic conversations with stuff like that that would just annoy everyone else around us because they could never figure out what we were talking about. I freaking hate that song now.

The "I'm obviously not paying attention to what you listen to" songs.

3. Falling in Love Again - Eagle Eye Cherry

This one just makes me laugh. This was the song that one of my high school girlfriends arbitrarily chose for us. This is funny because 1.) This was when I was really getting into Rancid, Social Distortion, and the like. Eagle Eye Cherry would have been offensive to me. 2.) This girl and I dated our Junior years of high school (falling in LOVE?? AGAIN??) and 3.) This is the ex-girlfriend that is now (and in retrospect always has been) a lesbian.

2. Amazed - Lone Star

First college girlfriend picked this one. We were probably 19 or so. The awfulness of the song is well known, but the memory of HOW she'd make me listen to it a couple times makes me want to light myself on fire; slow dancing to it in her bedroom. I mean it was uncomfortable and awkward back then, but right now it's making me think I need to go home and drink a lot of scotch and just blindly hope that's the memory that's erased for good this time. Just seeing it in text on screen is making me cringe as much as seeing one of those sports injury videos that feature compound fractures. Yeesh.

1. More Than Words - Extreme

The evilest of all the ex-girlfriends chose this one, so it never stood a chance. But even when were dating I thought it sucked. Stupid 80's band with a complete misnomer as their band name? Check. Nonsensical lyrics? Check. To this day, I have no idea what the hell "More than words is all I have to do..." means. That doesn't even sound like a foreign exchange student butchering of the English language, it sounds like Downs Syndrome. I have no idea why she picked this one, (except for that girls lose their heads and clothing for acoustic guitar songs) but this is one of two songs on the earth that will actually raise the hackles on my neck and turn me violent, along with Feliz Navidad.

So... What are your "our songs"?

classicman · 05-16-2008, 10:24 PM

We just broke up so I have none - they all depress the shit outta me
She's Got a Way - Billy Joel

lumberjim · 05-16-2008, 10:38 PM

I don't think jinx and I have 'a song' I think I have a couple that are deeply entrenched in jinxness......to me. 'Crush' by DMB for one....and I think jinx associates this one with me.

Sundae · 05-17-2008, 11:00 AM

I gave "Homeward Bound" to my evil ex. Only in my heart I mean. I had The Best of Simon and Garfunkel on my CD player (how old fashioned now?) when I was travelling in Sri Lanka. I missed him desperately at the time and despite the fact it is a remarkable country, I ended up counting down the days left just so I could be back with him. We split up - again- three weeks after I got back. My mobile phone bill cost more than the holiday. Fool.

Anyway, when I finally got over him - years later - I got the song back. It no longer makes my throat burn with memories of him.

elSicomoro · 05-17-2008, 11:15 AM

I've had "our songs" with almost all of my exes (and with my wife). But I don't hate any of them...except for one: "All I Want Is You" by U2. My stupid first gf used to make me sing it to her regularly...oh, I hate that song now.

Cicero · 05-17-2008, 02:46 PM

For me it's pre and post relationship divisions. I usually turn people on to things that I like. They are "mine" even after a break-up. Even if we happened to have listened to them together. Stating that songs are "our" songs doesn't make it "ours" if I initially turned someone on to it.

If we found something together that we experienced together, now, that might get to me. This is too rare of an occurence for me to even be concerened about. But:

People have tried to ruin whole albums that I like, and
I came into relationships with those, therefore they are "mine", and they will not be ruined by . (Except during asian karaoke at some point maybe)

An ex, designated lots of songs to be "our songs", took my cd's with "our songs" on them, and I have never gotten those cd's back that were mine in the first place. I introduced that person to those songs, and was stripped of the c.d.'s that I am having a hard time replacing. That person died during the course of our engagement, and I will never let that person go to the grave with "my" songs. Of course it was hard not to cry at first, when I heard one of "our songs", but they were "mine" to begin with, and I claim them as my own. hah! Mine.

No one is going to ruin the music I enjoy. My music is too personally gratifying to me to let someone else ruin it.....Yea...too personal. I am glad if people can enjoy music with me....I like having things to enjoy in common! But I know the chances of my music preferences outlasting the relationship, so, you know, mine. Gimme back.

I share too many things to let people take my songs with them. I am a stickler about that. It is a new thing for me to be a stickler about...but I am sure it is the right thing for me to do.

skysidhe · 05-17-2008, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

I think I have a couple that are deeply entrenched in jinxness......to me.

gawd that's cute

05-16-2008, 01:58 PM	#1
Dingleschmutz is not a palindrome... Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Des Moines Posts: 341	"Our Songs' I searched through the past year and couldn't find a thread about this anywhere. So if one exists, have one of the mods change the title to "Flay the newb" and have at it. Anyway... I decided to lay out a very important ground rule last night with the new girl I'm kinda seeing just in case we ever start thinking about more. No "our songs". I freaking hate "our songs". I mean I understand when they kinda naturally come about because of circumstances (more on that in a minute), but it's almost worse that way because those songs are usually halfway decent and then can never be listened to again when the relationship ends. At least the songs that are arbitrarily chosen for me against my will (while infuriating) invariably suck, so it's not like I'd ever want to listen to them again anyway. So here are my memorable ones, numbered from least annoying to most annoying. The Circumstantial Song 4. Crimson and Clover - Tommy James and the Shondells I love oldies, and this used to be one of my favorite songs. Unfortunately it was ruined for me because I seriously underestimated the girl I was dating at the time. After we'd been hanging out nonstop for about two weeks, I decided to put up an away message on AIM, and all it said was "Crimson and Clover". One of my favorite games is to be the only one in on the joke, and I figured putting something cryptic like that up would drive her nuts and I could just play dumb and flirty for awhile. Except she knew the first line was "I don't hardly know her but I think I could love her" and immediately knew it was about her. This not only deprived me of my fun little head game, it also eventually robbed me of the song. It's also part of the reason I fell so hard for her. She was the only person who could ever match my deviousness, and we could have whole cryptic conversations with stuff like that that would just annoy everyone else around us because they could never figure out what we were talking about. I freaking hate that song now. The "I'm obviously not paying attention to what you listen to" songs. 3. Falling in Love Again - Eagle Eye Cherry This one just makes me laugh. This was the song that one of my high school girlfriends arbitrarily chose for us. This is funny because 1.) This was when I was really getting into Rancid, Social Distortion, and the like. Eagle Eye Cherry would have been offensive to me. 2.) This girl and I dated our Junior years of high school (falling in LOVE?? AGAIN??) and 3.) This is the ex-girlfriend that is now (and in retrospect always has been) a lesbian. 2. Amazed - Lone Star First college girlfriend picked this one. We were probably 19 or so. The awfulness of the song is well known, but the memory of HOW she'd make me listen to it a couple times makes me want to light myself on fire; slow dancing to it in her bedroom. I mean it was uncomfortable and awkward back then, but right now it's making me think I need to go home and drink a lot of scotch and just blindly hope that's the memory that's erased for good this time. Just seeing it in text on screen is making me cringe as much as seeing one of those sports injury videos that feature compound fractures. Yeesh. 1. More Than Words - Extreme The evilest of all the ex-girlfriends chose this one, so it never stood a chance. But even when were dating I thought it sucked. Stupid 80's band with a complete misnomer as their band name? Check. Nonsensical lyrics? Check. To this day, I have no idea what the hell "More than words is all I have to do..." means. That doesn't even sound like a foreign exchange student butchering of the English language, it sounds like Downs Syndrome. I have no idea why she picked this one, (except for that girls lose their heads and clothing for acoustic guitar songs) but this is one of two songs on the earth that will actually raise the hackles on my neck and turn me violent, along with Feliz Navidad. So... What are your "our songs"?

05-16-2008, 10:24 PM	#2
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	We just broke up so I have none - they all depress the shit outta me She's Got a Way - Billy Joel __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

05-16-2008, 10:38 PM	#3
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	I don't think jinx and I have 'a song' I think I have a couple that are deeply entrenched in jinxness......to me. 'Crush' by DMB for one....and I think jinx associates this one with me. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

05-17-2008, 11:00 AM	#4
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I gave "Homeward Bound" to my evil ex. Only in my heart I mean. I had The Best of Simon and Garfunkel on my CD player (how old fashioned now?) when I was travelling in Sri Lanka. I missed him desperately at the time and despite the fact it is a remarkable country, I ended up counting down the days left just so I could be back with him. We split up - again- three weeks after I got back. My mobile phone bill cost more than the holiday. Fool. Anyway, when I finally got over him - years later - I got the song back. It no longer makes my throat burn with memories of him. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

05-17-2008, 02:46 PM	#6
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	For me it's pre and post relationship divisions. I usually turn people on to things that I like. They are "mine" even after a break-up. Even if we happened to have listened to them together. Stating that songs are "our" songs doesn't make it "ours" if I initially turned someone on to it. If we found something together that we experienced together, now, that might get to me. This is too rare of an occurence for me to even be concerened about. But: People have tried to ruin whole albums that I like, and I came into relationships with those, therefore they are "mine", and they will not be ruined by . (Except during asian karaoke at some point maybe) An ex, designated lots of songs to be "our songs", took my cd's with "our songs" on them, and I have never gotten those cd's back that were mine in the first place. I introduced that person to those songs, and was stripped of the c.d.'s that I am having a hard time replacing. That person died during the course of our engagement, and I will never let that person go to the grave with "my" songs. Of course it was hard not to cry at first, when I heard one of "our songs", but they were "mine" to begin with, and I claim them as my own. hah! Mine. No one is going to ruin the music I enjoy. My music is too personally gratifying to me to let someone else ruin it.....Yea...too personal. I am glad if people can enjoy music with me....I like having things to enjoy in common! But I know the chances of my music preferences outlasting the relationship, so, you know, mine. Gimme back. I share too many things to let people take my songs with them. I am a stickler about that. It is a new thing for me to be a stickler about...but I am sure it is the right thing for me to do. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

05-17-2008, 11:15 AM	#5
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	I've had "our songs" with almost all of my exes (and with my wife). But I don't hate any of them...except for one: "All I Want Is You" by U2. My stupid first gf used to make me sing it to her regularly...oh, I hate that song now.

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