Humor...I Need Humor...

[classicman]

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers
that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks
the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie on the display window?" The
salesperson answers, "Which one? We have:

Work out Barbie for $19.95

Shopping Barbie for $19.95

Beach Barbie for $19.95

Disco Barbie for $19.95

Divorced Barbie for $265.95

The amazed father asks: "What? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95
and the others are only $19.95?" The salesperson annoyingly answers:

"Sir...,Divorced Barbie comes witth: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat,
Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and...One of Ken's Friends.

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Next one:


A rich man and a poor man were discussing what they gave their wives for
Christmas.

The rich man says, "I bought my wife a diamond necklace and a Mercedes
Benz."

Poor man asks, "Why did you buy her two gifts?"

The rich man replies, "Well, in case she doesn't like the diamond necklace,
she can drive her Mercedes Benz to take it back."

The poor man acknowledges the rich mans answer then proceeds to tell him
what he got his wife. "I got my wife a pair of flip flops and a dildo."

With a confused and intrigued look, the rich man asks, "Why did you buy her
those gifts?!"

The poor man replies,

"Well, in case she doesn't like the flip flops, she can go [*****] herself.