Humor...I Need Humor...

classicman · 07-24-2008, 12:52 PM

Subject: Economy

The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that
money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China. If we spend it on gasoline it
will go to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we
purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.
If we purchase coffee it will go to Colombia or Brazil. If we purchase a
good car it will go to Japan or Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will
go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.

The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes
and beer, since these are the only products still produced and 'made in the
USA'.

I've been doing my part, and I thank you for your help and support.

Regards,

Governor Eliot Spitzer

jester · 07-25-2008, 04:53 PM

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL.

THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK; I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.'

THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS.

AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!' 'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?'

'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.'

HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.' 'A WITCH??. . WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?'

'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW... TOOK MY
TEETH WITH HER!'

07-24-2008, 12:52 PM	#1
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Subject: Economy The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China. If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase coffee it will go to Colombia or Brazil. If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan or Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced and 'made in the USA'. I've been doing my part, and I thank you for your help and support. Regards, Governor Eliot Spitzer __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

07-25-2008, 04:53 PM	#2
jester why so serious Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,712	TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL. THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK; I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.' THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!' 'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?' 'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.' HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.' 'A WITCH??. . WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?' 'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!'

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