Fair enough. You've posted sensibly enough for me to accept you really have tried everything. It seems such a shame though - I assume there is no-one you can talk to about this?
Yes - you and your girlfriend are welcome down here. As I say, my previous offer to put you up can't be honoured, but drinks, dinner, company are all offered - and as I say, I'd probably be able to find someone somewhere to put you up temporarily. Not offering my bosom as a pillow as Lookout seems to be suggesting

You can't leave England without coming to London surely?!