I Need A Man - Page 2

monster · 02-23-2009, 10:12 PM

SG, you're trying to run before you can walk. Stay with your parents, stay on the sick, off the booze and on the diet/exercise program and off the self-criticism. Slow down on your recovery. You know what's wrong. The fact that just knowing what is wrong hasn't fixed it is not a good reason to beat yourself up some more. If it took a while to get there, it ain't goin' to be quick to get back.

How long is it since you had a drink?

You worry about money earned not being enough to pay the rent. Even if you earned enough, would you still have it all when the rent came due? Are you factoring in your spending "needs"

Again, you're trying to run before you can walk.

Get (really) sober, get (a little) more sensible with money, get happier and maybe spend some time and get some more qualifications so you can command the salary you need for the lifestyle you want.

You don't need a man to get a flat, you need determination and a little time

you can do it.

And once you've done it, the man thing will be a doddle

classicman · 02-23-2009, 10:25 PM

What monster said (a lot better than I could have)

capnhowdy · 02-24-2009, 06:53 AM

I say get your own place. Although it may be humble, believe me, the independence is truly a magnet for us guys. If you have to have a guy to have a home, then He'll have you by the ass from jump street. If you needed him to get it, you'll need him to KEEP it. I f he leaves, you're homeless. Or at best in a very vulnerable position.
Rome wasn't built in a day. Nor can you build a new life that quickly.
A few years ago I had a nice (but expensive) house. Loved it. But I put up with a gang of shit from the girl who lived w/me for [obvious] reasons. I felt trapped. I finally moved to this much more modest house that I can afford easily alone. Now, although I am single, when I do meet "that lady", I can pursue a relationship for all the RIGHT reasons.
Now if I can just get that face transplant.......

Aliantha · 02-24-2009, 04:13 PM

I'm starting to wonder what your face really looks like capn. You've been denigrating yourself so much. Surely it can't be that bad!

capnhowdy · 02-24-2009, 08:13 PM

It's a kinda big step for an old timer like me to post their pic on zwebz. I'm working on it.

And nah... it ain't that bad. Ain't that good either. Like everything else, it depends on what you're comparing it to.

Aliantha · 02-24-2009, 08:16 PM

Well I think you should just bite the bullet and post it right now!

Go on. I know you want to.

toranokaze · 02-26-2009, 03:11 AM

From what I have read you don't need a sham of a relationship that borders on prostitution.

Your better and stronger than that.

What you need is a roommate.
I live in a one room that is barely bigger than a prison cell with a stranger, for the want of greenbacks.

It can be done; you can do it, and you will do it. All things in time.

As for relationships," you must first be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of another."

Post Script

I did not intend nor want to offend, however, I did want to be blunt on how much of a bad idea it is. Even if your OK will selling your body it is a bad move. The job(relationship) has very little security, a lot of hours probably a low hourly rate while being always on call (but most salary jobs have those problems), several-non-tax deducible and non-reimburse items, high up start costs, highly competitive, and a lot of customer service. There are better options for selling oneself such as: scientific experimentation, flexible hours, OK money, helping scientific progress, long term health risks; the selling of body fluids, great hours, not much money; the selling of eggs, great money, very serious health risks.

On another note is £10k a lot of money being relative to average annual salary of the population of people in your area.

capnhowdy · 02-26-2009, 07:22 AM

Quote:

I live in a one room that is barely bigger than a prison cell with a stranger, for the want of greenbacks.

Sounds like you've got plenty of probs to sort out yourself. Living with your parents has got to be better than that. How do you do it? I feel for you.

toranokaze · 02-26-2009, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnhowdy

Sounds like you've got plenty of probs to sort out yourself. Living with your parents has got to be better than that. How do you do it? I feel for you.

We all have trouble, the struggle is life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnhowdy

Living with your parents has got to be better than that.

I can't my parents live hundreds of miles away.

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnhowdy

S How do you do it? I feel for you.

Thank you for your empathy.

My troubles are managed by the power of the Lord. I live a good life.

Aliantha · 02-26-2009, 03:15 PM

FTR, I don't think SG was literally talking about finding a man to pay all her bills. I'm pretty sure she's more interested in the emotional support she'd find in a loving relationship.

Big Sarge · 02-26-2009, 03:34 PM

Geez SG, I wish you weren't so far away. Why do you complain about your appearance? My God, you are so pretty.

Aliantha · 02-26-2009, 03:34 PM

And anyway, even if she is looking for a man to support her, what's wrong with that traditional notion anyway? It's the way it was through most of the 20th century and still continues now.

The problem so many people have in their relationships is a lack of honesty, and I don't think it's wrong to be up front if that's what you're really looking for. Everyone knows where they stand and no one can cry foul if it doesn't work out either.

Big Sarge · 02-26-2009, 04:38 PM

There's nothing wrong with having a guy you are in a relationship help support you. I've done it and was glad to

capnhowdy · 02-26-2009, 07:38 PM

Sometimes I long for someone to care for/support. Often. Sometimes it just seems so hopeless.
The key here IMO, is to find love. I love is there, all else will follow the trail of the petals.
I actually recall how it felt to be in love. And in that moment all was nothing to give.
'sall about feeling and happiness. You have that and you own the world.

kerosene · 02-26-2009, 08:25 PM

I don't think there is anything wrong with that traditional man pays the bills situation. As long as both parties are clear on that in the beginning and both parties are truly in love with each other.

02-23-2009, 10:12 PM	#16
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	SG, you're trying to run before you can walk. Stay with your parents, stay on the sick, off the booze and on the diet/exercise program and off the self-criticism. Slow down on your recovery. You know what's wrong. The fact that just knowing what is wrong hasn't fixed it is not a good reason to beat yourself up some more. If it took a while to get there, it ain't goin' to be quick to get back. How long is it since you had a drink? You worry about money earned not being enough to pay the rent. Even if you earned enough, would you still have it all when the rent came due? Are you factoring in your spending "needs" Again, you're trying to run before you can walk. Get (really) sober, get (a little) more sensible with money, get happier and maybe spend some time and get some more qualifications so you can command the salary you need for the lifestyle you want. You don't need a man to get a flat, you need determination and a little time you can do it. And once you've done it, the man thing will be a doddle __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-23-2009, 10:25 PM	#17
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	What monster said (a lot better than I could have) __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

02-24-2009, 06:53 AM	#18
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	I say get your own place. Although it may be humble, believe me, the independence is truly a magnet for us guys. If you have to have a guy to have a home, then He'll have you by the ass from jump street. If you needed him to get it, you'll need him to KEEP it. I f he leaves, you're homeless. Or at best in a very vulnerable position. Rome wasn't built in a day. Nor can you build a new life that quickly. A few years ago I had a nice (but expensive) house. Loved it. But I put up with a gang of shit from the girl who lived w/me for [obvious] reasons. I felt trapped. I finally moved to this much more modest house that I can afford easily alone. Now, although I am single, when I do meet "that lady", I can pursue a relationship for all the RIGHT reasons. Now if I can just get that face transplant....... __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

02-24-2009, 04:13 PM	#19
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I'm starting to wonder what your face really looks like capn. You've been denigrating yourself so much. Surely it can't be that bad! __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

02-24-2009, 08:13 PM	#20
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	It's a kinda big step for an old timer like me to post their pic on zwebz. I'm working on it. And nah... it ain't that bad. Ain't that good either. Like everything else, it depends on what you're comparing it to. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

02-24-2009, 08:16 PM	#21
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Well I think you should just bite the bullet and post it right now! Go on. I know you want to. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

02-26-2009, 03:11 AM	#22
toranokaze I'm still a jerk Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Little Mexico Posts: 1,817	From what I have read you don't need a sham of a relationship that borders on prostitution. Your better and stronger than that. What you need is a roommate. I live in a one room that is barely bigger than a prison cell with a stranger, for the want of greenbacks. It can be done; you can do it, and you will do it. All things in time. As for relationships," you must first be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of another." Post Script I did not intend nor want to offend, however, I did want to be blunt on how much of a bad idea it is. Even if your OK will selling your body it is a bad move. The job(relationship) has very little security, a lot of hours probably a low hourly rate while being always on call (but most salary jobs have those problems), several-non-tax deducible and non-reimburse items, high up start costs, highly competitive, and a lot of customer service. There are better options for selling oneself such as: scientific experimentation, flexible hours, OK money, helping scientific progress, long term health risks; the selling of body fluids, great hours, not much money; the selling of eggs, great money, very serious health risks. On another note is £10k a lot of money being relative to average annual salary of the population of people in your area. __________________ "Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering.

02-26-2009, 03:15 PM	#25
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	FTR, I don't think SG was literally talking about finding a man to pay all her bills. I'm pretty sure she's more interested in the emotional support she'd find in a loving relationship. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

02-26-2009, 03:34 PM	#26
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	Geez SG, I wish you weren't so far away. Why do you complain about your appearance? My God, you are so pretty. __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

02-26-2009, 04:38 PM	#28
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	There's nothing wrong with having a guy you are in a relationship help support you. I've done it and was glad to __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

02-26-2009, 07:38 PM	#29
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	Sometimes I long for someone to care for/support. Often. Sometimes it just seems so hopeless. The key here IMO, is to find love. I love is there, all else will follow the trail of the petals. I actually recall how it felt to be in love. And in that moment all was nothing to give. 'sall about feeling and happiness. You have that and you own the world. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

02-26-2009, 08:25 PM	#30
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	I don't think there is anything wrong with that traditional man pays the bills situation. As long as both parties are clear on that in the beginning and both parties are truly in love with each other.

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