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Relationships People who need people; or, why can't we all just get along?

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Old 02-23-2009, 10:12 PM   #16
monster
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SG, you're trying to run before you can walk. Stay with your parents, stay on the sick, off the booze and on the diet/exercise program and off the self-criticism. Slow down on your recovery. You know what's wrong. The fact that just knowing what is wrong hasn't fixed it is not a good reason to beat yourself up some more. If it took a while to get there, it ain't goin' to be quick to get back.

How long is it since you had a drink?

You worry about money earned not being enough to pay the rent. Even if you earned enough, would you still have it all when the rent came due? Are you factoring in your spending "needs"

Again, you're trying to run before you can walk.

Get (really) sober, get (a little) more sensible with money, get happier and maybe spend some time and get some more qualifications so you can command the salary you need for the lifestyle you want.

You don't need a man to get a flat, you need determination and a little time

you can do it.

And once you've done it, the man thing will be a doddle
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Old 02-23-2009, 10:25 PM   #17
classicman
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What monster said (a lot better than I could have)
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Old 02-24-2009, 06:53 AM   #18
capnhowdy
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I say get your own place. Although it may be humble, believe me, the independence is truly a magnet for us guys. If you have to have a guy to have a home, then He'll have you by the ass from jump street. If you needed him to get it, you'll need him to KEEP it. I f he leaves, you're homeless. Or at best in a very vulnerable position.
Rome wasn't built in a day. Nor can you build a new life that quickly.
A few years ago I had a nice (but expensive) house. Loved it. But I put up with a gang of shit from the girl who lived w/me for [obvious] reasons. I felt trapped. I finally moved to this much more modest house that I can afford easily alone. Now, although I am single, when I do meet "that lady", I can pursue a relationship for all the RIGHT reasons.
Now if I can just get that face transplant.......
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Old 02-24-2009, 04:13 PM   #19
Aliantha
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I'm starting to wonder what your face really looks like capn. You've been denigrating yourself so much. Surely it can't be that bad!
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:13 PM   #20
capnhowdy
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It's a kinda big step for an old timer like me to post their pic on zwebz. I'm working on it.

And nah... it ain't that bad. Ain't that good either. Like everything else, it depends on what you're comparing it to.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:16 PM   #21
Aliantha
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Well I think you should just bite the bullet and post it right now!

Go on. I know you want to.
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Old 02-26-2009, 03:11 AM   #22
toranokaze
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From what I have read you don't need a sham of a relationship that borders on prostitution.

Your better and stronger than that.

What you need is a roommate.
I live in a one room that is barely bigger than a prison cell with a stranger, for the want of greenbacks.

It can be done; you can do it, and you will do it. All things in time.

As for relationships," you must first be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of another."


Post Script

I did not intend nor want to offend, however, I did want to be blunt on how much of a bad idea it is. Even if your OK will selling your body it is a bad move. The job(relationship) has very little security, a lot of hours probably a low hourly rate while being always on call (but most salary jobs have those problems), several-non-tax deducible and non-reimburse items, high up start costs, highly competitive, and a lot of customer service. There are better options for selling oneself such as: scientific experimentation, flexible hours, OK money, helping scientific progress, long term health risks; the selling of body fluids, great hours, not much money; the selling of eggs, great money, very serious health risks.



On another note is £10k a lot of money being relative to average annual salary of the population of people in your area.
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Old 02-26-2009, 07:22 AM   #23
capnhowdy
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Quote:
I live in a one room that is barely bigger than a prison cell with a stranger, for the want of greenbacks.
Sounds like you've got plenty of probs to sort out yourself. Living with your parents has got to be better than that. How do you do it? I feel for you.
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Old 02-26-2009, 08:01 AM   #24
toranokaze
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Quote:
Originally Posted by capnhowdy View Post
Sounds like you've got plenty of probs to sort out yourself. Living with your parents has got to be better than that. How do you do it? I feel for you.
We all have trouble, the struggle is life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by capnhowdy View Post
Living with your parents has got to be better than that.
I can't my parents live hundreds of miles away.

Quote:
Originally Posted by capnhowdy View Post
S How do you do it? I feel for you.
Thank you for your empathy.

My troubles are managed by the power of the Lord. I live a good life.
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Old 02-26-2009, 03:15 PM   #25
Aliantha
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FTR, I don't think SG was literally talking about finding a man to pay all her bills. I'm pretty sure she's more interested in the emotional support she'd find in a loving relationship.
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Old 02-26-2009, 03:34 PM   #26
Big Sarge
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Geez SG, I wish you weren't so far away. Why do you complain about your appearance? My God, you are so pretty.
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Old 02-26-2009, 03:34 PM   #27
Aliantha
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And anyway, even if she is looking for a man to support her, what's wrong with that traditional notion anyway? It's the way it was through most of the 20th century and still continues now.

The problem so many people have in their relationships is a lack of honesty, and I don't think it's wrong to be up front if that's what you're really looking for. Everyone knows where they stand and no one can cry foul if it doesn't work out either.
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Old 02-26-2009, 04:38 PM   #28
Big Sarge
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There's nothing wrong with having a guy you are in a relationship help support you. I've done it and was glad to
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Old 02-26-2009, 07:38 PM   #29
capnhowdy
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Sometimes I long for someone to care for/support. Often. Sometimes it just seems so hopeless.
The key here IMO, is to find love. I love is there, all else will follow the trail of the petals.
I actually recall how it felt to be in love. And in that moment all was nothing to give.
'sall about feeling and happiness. You have that and you own the world.
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Old 02-26-2009, 08:25 PM   #30
kerosene
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I don't think there is anything wrong with that traditional man pays the bills situation. As long as both parties are clear on that in the beginning and both parties are truly in love with each other.
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