My Kid is a Damn Nutter

[Clodfobble]

Motherfuckinggoddamncumslutbitchasswhores...

There's a new food Minifob can't have. By now we know the signs--he eagerly demanded the new food several meals in a row, and lay on the floor screaming and begging for more when I told him we would be having his (old) favorite food instead. This was right about the time that his behavior, which had been steadily recovering since Sunday, took another plunge.

The problem? This food--little spicy tortilla strips that are supposed to go on salads, but I thought they would function nicely as a chip for him too--is supposedly gluten-free and dairy-free. There's a slight chance that the unnamed "spices" on the ingredient list contains something like whey powder or sodium caseinate, and I've emailed the company to ask, but they would be breaking food labeling rules if that's the case. It seems more likely to me that he actually has a problem with something else in the list, and the obvious culprit would be everyone's favorite neuroexciter, MSG. (Did you know MSG directly affects the brain? That's why it tastes so good when it doesn't actually taste like much of anything.) Most sources of MSG are already eliminated by the GFCF diet anyway, but one major exception is canned fruit. There's still plenty of brands out there with no artificial sweeteners, including the ones we've been serving him all along, but I was really hoping I could find just one thing that I could definitively say it was always safe for him to eat without having to check the label every time.

One thing he likes, anyway. It doesn't do me much good to say he can always have raw broccoli.