The 24 hour engagement.

[disenchanted]

I don't have the distance from this to be able to see whether or not it's as cut and dried as the popular sentiment would suggest.

But I also know that I spent a lot of time getting to the point that I was. There was a lot of thought behind the idea of "Am I ready to commit myself to this person for life?"

So right now, I'm faced with the question of "Do I move on?" (even knowing that "moving on" doesn't mean "go find a new relationship tomorrow") I'm grappling with the disconnect of "I was ready to give her my life to share. My whole stupid life. What's that mean if two weeks later I'm to walk away from the whole thing?"

I guess for my own satisfaction, I might need to be a torch-bearer for a bit, even if it doesn't amount to anything but prolonging my being screwed up.