What would you do?

[Pooka]

I agree...

Just my two cents, but I tend to take the honesty is the best policy route... and considering your stance which I understand fully being wholly supported by my husband...

Rather than accusing him of infidelity without any supporting evidence ...admit you tried to quell your suspicious feeling without confronting him as perhaps you should have and snooped... Ask him to forgive you for nosing through his stuff and let him know he is free to look through yours. Acknowledge that you've felt he was pulling away for a bit now and ask if he would be willing to see a counselor with you to help you both get your relationship back on tract. Let him know you love him and if he has been unfaithful you would like him to end it and you do want to work through it... that your marriage is important and you will do whatever it takes to salvage it.

Personally, I believe if you have nothing to hide there should be no issue with someone peaking through your stuff, but I know some people really don't like that. It doesn't bother me... I ferret through Flint's wallet and work bag all the time ...I'm mostly looking for coffee mugs that need washing, paperwork I need to fill out, or receipts (he holds on to them till the ink wears off which renders them useless come tax time... so I occasionally pull them out myself)... but sometimes.. I come across a note he wrote himself ... these are deep down what I hope to find... he writes down thoughts and ideas which are usually pretty interesting. I find them everywhere and have collected his little papers for years so they don't end up in the trash... I guess that's why I joined the Cellar... it’s like a big pile of his notes... but with anonymous responses.

But I digress... this is not about me, but you Anon... all I can say is what I'd do if it was me, but you know what your heart can handle and what it can't better than any of us here. One thing I do know is that lack of communication will cause even a faithful relationship to go awry... and if you aren't truthful... you'll never find a place where you can trust eachother again.