Life's a...

[morethanpretty]

Originally Posted by limey

I recently moved my mother, at her request, to be much nearer me so that we could enjoy a few more japes together, as she is surely getting older.
Sadly, the move seems to have precipitated an abrupt and bumpy ride into dementia, with falls, two broken arms (she's never broken a bone in her life before) and, tragically, an intermittent awareness of the awful quagmire into which she is sinking.
Instead of having two or three visits a week from me, and living in a more stimulating environment at this critical time, I can only get to see her once a week as it's a three hour trip each way for me for a three hour visit and she is in a totally unfamiliar place where there is absolutely zero mental stimulation. A regimen almost guaranteed to make things worse, and I don't see how I can change that.
I am in despair.

Feeling helpless is horrible, and the situation you and your mom are in, even worse. If you can't be there, and there isn't staff who can regularly stay with your mom, look to hire a person to go sit with her and visit her. If you can't afford to hire, there are probably volunteer groups who help the elderly in the area and would be willing to visit your mom. On your once a week visit you can remind her that she will be having a visitor. With her dementia she might be distrusting of the person, but if you are able to get the same person to go every time, she might accept them. Having a presence there, someone who just talks/reads/checks up on her, could help her a long way. If not, you'll know that she didn't have to spend all that time alone.

[limey]

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

Feeling helpless is horrible, and the situation you and your mom are in, even worse. If you can't be there, and there isn't staff who can regularly stay with your mom, look to hire a person to go sit with her and visit her. If you can't afford to hire, there are probably volunteer groups who help the elderly in the area and would be willing to visit your mom. On your once a week visit you can remind her that she will be having a visitor. With her dementia she might be distrusting of the person, but if you are able to get the same person to go every time, she might accept them. Having a presence there, someone who just talks/reads/checks up on her, could help her a long way. If not, you'll know that she didn't have to spend all that time alone.

Mtp - thanks for your your suggestions. I should have explained - she is in a hospital at the moment, which she hates as she much prefers her own company. She is not safe to live alone anymore, but doesn't realise this herself. We just have to wait this out until she can be moved nearer ... in the meanwhile we're both miserable and helpless.