I'm ashamed of myself

[DanaC]

You are not a horrible person. You are a lovely person. You are going through some physical changes that are impacting on your emotions and state of mind. Whether or not you choose to take hormones is a decision for you, but you need to recognise the effects hormonal changes may have on you and at the very least give yourself a break :P Right now you're having to deal with the maelstrom of emotion brought on by those hormonal changes and a bunch of guilt, remorse and confusion to go with them. Those last three things are of no use to you. When you've hairtriggered at someone or are having trouble managing your emotions, the last thing you need to be doing is beating yourself up about that. Those things say nothing about you the person. They only speak to your hormonal balance. It will pass, possibly faster with help and treatment, but it will pass. You're the same well-balanced, reasonable and passionate person you always were and a period of hormone induced emotional turbulence doesn't change that. In any way.

*hugs* sucks though. Not nice feeling that way.