Rules for Pets. - Page 3

TheMercenary · 09-09-2009, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

I really don't even ignore him...both cats have been so damn glommy, like gluey glommy, the past couple weeks.

They know the end of the world is comming and want to be close to you.

Shawnee123 · 09-09-2009, 10:38 AM

Yep, out of the meows of cats...!

monster · 09-09-2009, 11:03 AM

.

Shawnee123 · 09-09-2009, 11:05 AM

Cats crack me up, even when they're a pain in my ass!

Shawnee123 · 09-09-2009, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dar512

It's those honey and peanut butter sandwiches you've been eating. When you aren't looking, they've been sharing.

Gaines is a weird one: he cares not for chicken or fish or really any human food. Taj, on the other hand, steals pepperonis off my pizza (as she did last night) and chicken about makes her go stark raving mad!

dar512 · 09-09-2009, 11:38 AM

And as we all know, a pepperoni thief is capable of any crime. Keep an eye on that one.

Shawnee123 · 09-09-2009, 11:41 AM

Yabbut, she's 16 and a half...still able to leap tall countertops though. When I catch her, she's like "who me?" with pepperoni grease all around her mouth. Damn recidivist!

Sundae · 09-12-2009, 04:54 AM

My rule: No coming home with random items that make me wonder where you have been.

Diz came in with a pristine tennis ball this week. I've been sleeping without my earplaus with the'rents away and can him him racketing about with it in the hall while I'm dozing. If he gets it a good smack on the door it sounds like something coming through the letterbox. I am no longer fooled.

Diz's rule: It's a toy. Doesn't matter what you bring home, it's essentially something for me to play with, up to and including the packaging and the screwed up receipt. And why oh why oh why did I get a jacket that could be laced up at the back? From the minute it arrived yesterday it was a fight as to which one of us was going to get the most use out ot it. Me shreieking and running away and trying to shorten the ribbons; Diz scampering and chasing and clawing and wondering what this new game was.

Cloud · 09-17-2009, 03:03 PM

this showed up in my inbox today. I Lol'd at the last line!

Dear God:
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good Dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or
after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead
seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa
is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not
stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into
someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the
coffee table .

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from
outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the
middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is
not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.

When I get to Heaven can I have my testicles back?

capnhowdy · 09-17-2009, 07:50 PM

A hump is not a handshake.

Cloud · 09-18-2009, 02:43 PM

and here, from my friend who has a 200 lb NOT miniature pot bellied pig, are the "pigs rules":

1) Plant beautiful flowers in the garden because they taste best.

2) Feed me on time or I will break the door down.

3) NEVER leave a door open because I will come in and raid the fridge/pantry/cupboards, and there will be absolutely nothing left (I'll even eat the bacon!).

4) Dog water buckets are really fun to dump over, so please keep them very full for my entertainment.

5) I promise I won't go potty in the house.

6) Stay out of my yard, or we will fight.

7) Do not under, any circumstances remove bedding/trash/leaves/anything-else-I've-scavenged from my house or we will fight.

8) Bar soap is a really awesome snack, so buy the expensive stuff, I like that Trader Joe's Oatmeal stuff.

9) When I make that little sqealing noise and rub my dirty nose on your leg, you're supposed to pay attention.

10) Rub my belly for at least 5 minutes a day.

DanaC · 09-18-2009, 03:26 PM

*grins* Nos 2 and 3 put me in mind of my brother's Rhodesian Ridgeback (Amber- aka Fat Lass, or Amble-Scramble). Then again, I suspect she might be part pig.

Sundae · 09-19-2009, 06:50 AM

1) I know you bought me a heated pad, but you are the next best heat source in the house. Therefore whether you are naked, on the internet, on the phone or getting ready to go out, you need to be available to warm me up.
2) I like to stop and check the scenery on the way downstairs. As I don't have eyes in the back of my heard it's up to you to watch out for me. Anyway, it sharpens your reflexes.
3) There is nothing quite so satisfying as a big smelly log in a virgin tray. It's one of life's great pleasure. So don't be all grumpy and holding your nose and gagging because I've waited til you've just changed it before laying down some nuclear waste.
4) I'm a sociable cat. If there are chicken bones lelft in my dish after my immediate hunger has been sated, I reserve the right to come and gnaw them on your bed, or on the sofa if you are in the living room. I know the raw marrow is messy - but it's tasty, deal with it!
5) Sometimes I don't know what I want. I want you to know! So I will follow you round the house and make a creaking noise to get your attention, and then not be satisfied with whatever you do. This is my right.
6) As I am not capable of playing with other cats nicely, I need your input and involvement in every game I play. I even make up new ones to include you, like Climb Behind The DVDs and Knock Down Them All Down, or Let's Explore the Mantelpiece!

pilau · 09-20-2009, 04:45 PM

Rules what humin peepels muss follow and som useful tips

1. Jus cos you cant see whut I is barking at, duznt mean der is nuffink to bark at.
2. Birds is for chasing
3. Cars is for chasing
4. Kids is for chasing
5. Peepels is for chasing
6. Bikes is for chasing
7. Cats is definittly for chasing
8. Flies is for chasing.
9. Everytime the Cupboard Door is opent, a biscuit shud happen.
10. Baffs is the work of the devul; ponds is God's gift to Good Dogs.

I haf more but is makin my hed hurt.

monster · 09-20-2009, 08:49 PM

fish rules:

1) glub
2) glub

09-09-2009, 10:38 AM	#32
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Yep, out of the meows of cats...! __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

09-09-2009, 11:03 AM	#33
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	. Attached Images __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-09-2009, 11:05 AM	#34
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Cats crack me up, even when they're a pain in my ass! __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

09-09-2009, 11:38 AM	#36
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	And as we all know, a pepperoni thief is capable of any crime. Keep an eye on that one. __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

09-09-2009, 11:41 AM	#37
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Yabbut, she's 16 and a half...still able to leap tall countertops though. When I catch her, she's like "who me?" with pepperoni grease all around her mouth. Damn recidivist! __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

09-12-2009, 04:54 AM	#38
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	My rule: No coming home with random items that make me wonder where you have been. Diz came in with a pristine tennis ball this week. I've been sleeping without my earplaus with the'rents away and can him him racketing about with it in the hall while I'm dozing. If he gets it a good smack on the door it sounds like something coming through the letterbox. I am no longer fooled. Diz's rule: It's a toy. Doesn't matter what you bring home, it's essentially something for me to play with, up to and including the packaging and the screwed up receipt. And why oh why oh why did I get a jacket that could be laced up at the back? From the minute it arrived yesterday it was a fight as to which one of us was going to get the most use out ot it. Me shreieking and running away and trying to shorten the ribbons; Diz scampering and chasing and clawing and wondering what this new game was. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

09-17-2009, 03:03 PM	#39
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	this showed up in my inbox today. I Lol'd at the last line! Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog. 1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar. 4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. 5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. 8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table . 9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. 10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt. 11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch. 12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. When I get to Heaven can I have my testicles back? __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

09-17-2009, 07:50 PM	#40
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	A hump is not a handshake. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

09-18-2009, 02:43 PM	#41
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	and here, from my friend who has a 200 lb NOT miniature pot bellied pig, are the "pigs rules": 1) Plant beautiful flowers in the garden because they taste best. 2) Feed me on time or I will break the door down. 3) NEVER leave a door open because I will come in and raid the fridge/pantry/cupboards, and there will be absolutely nothing left (I'll even eat the bacon!). 4) Dog water buckets are really fun to dump over, so please keep them very full for my entertainment. 5) I promise I won't go potty in the house. 6) Stay out of my yard, or we will fight. 7) Do not under, any circumstances remove bedding/trash/leaves/anything-else-I've-scavenged from my house or we will fight. 8) Bar soap is a really awesome snack, so buy the expensive stuff, I like that Trader Joe's Oatmeal stuff. 9) When I make that little sqealing noise and rub my dirty nose on your leg, you're supposed to pay attention. 10) Rub my belly for at least 5 minutes a day. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

09-19-2009, 06:50 AM	#43
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	1) I know you bought me a heated pad, but you are the next best heat source in the house. Therefore whether you are naked, on the internet, on the phone or getting ready to go out, you need to be available to warm me up. 2) I like to stop and check the scenery on the way downstairs. As I don't have eyes in the back of my heard it's up to you to watch out for me. Anyway, it sharpens your reflexes. 3) There is nothing quite so satisfying as a big smelly log in a virgin tray. It's one of life's great pleasure. So don't be all grumpy and holding your nose and gagging because I've waited til you've just changed it before laying down some nuclear waste. 4) I'm a sociable cat. If there are chicken bones lelft in my dish after my immediate hunger has been sated, I reserve the right to come and gnaw them on your bed, or on the sofa if you are in the living room. I know the raw marrow is messy - but it's tasty, deal with it! 5) Sometimes I don't know what I want. I want you to know! So I will follow you round the house and make a creaking noise to get your attention, and then not be satisfied with whatever you do. This is my right. 6) As I am not capable of playing with other cats nicely, I need your input and involvement in every game I play. I even make up new ones to include you, like Climb Behind The DVDs and Knock Down Them All Down, or Let's Explore the Mantelpiece! __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

09-20-2009, 04:45 PM	#44
pilau He Who Must be Fed Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 16	Rules what humin peepels muss follow and som useful tips 1. Jus cos you cant see whut I is barking at, duznt mean der is nuffink to bark at. 2. Birds is for chasing 3. Cars is for chasing 4. Kids is for chasing 5. Peepels is for chasing 6. Bikes is for chasing 7. Cats is definittly for chasing 8. Flies is for chasing. 9. Everytime the Cupboard Door is opent, a biscuit shud happen. 10. Baffs is the work of the devul; ponds is God's gift to Good Dogs. I haf more but is makin my hed hurt.

09-20-2009, 08:49 PM	#45
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	fish rules: 1) glub 2) glub __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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