My Son the Idiot

[Beestie]

I would have done similarly.

But w/ estranged family members, I always emphasize that money will not be part of our relationship.

Once the renegade/black sheep/ne'er do well family member accepts this (that I will NOT send $$$ not matter what) then our relationship can settle down and I could be supportive.

Now, we can have an honest conversation and I know that when "he" calls, its to talk since I have long-since ruled out any ulterior motive.

Best move I ever made - now, I can love my bro and be supportive instead of being an ATM with similar DNA. And guess what, after I convinced my other family members to do likewise and the flow of supporting funds was shut off and the flow of support and tough love was cranked up, then lo and behold, he pulls himself up by the bootstraps.

What I am saying plainly is to take money out of the equation. After they gut used to it, your relationship will improve. If not, it just isn't your fault and there is nothing more you can do.

Good luck - that has to be difficult to endure.