Getting a friend help

[wolf]

Interventions do not work like on TV, and usually result in the victim punching out one or more of the concerned others.

Acknowledge that the dude fucked up. Give him the number to the campus counselling service or the local crisis hotline, and give him the ride if he asks for it.

Actually, regardless of what you feel, you don't have any responsibility to him ... he has to take it for himself.

What he needs first, though, may be a lawyer.

Did he get arrested-arrested, or just issued non-traffic citations for Public Drunkenness and Disorderly Conduct? (unless he punched or spit on the cops assault charges over something like that are rare. Also was it "real" cops or "campus" cops?)

He wouldn't be the first lawyer to have done something drunk and stupid in college, incidentally.

[piercehawkeye45]

Originally Posted by Cicero

Actually, it sounds like you are on the right track..........If he has trouble with authority I wouldn't go to him as a crowd. Have each friend talk to him one by one....Personal level, one on one sincere conversation.......

I agree. As of now, this will be my first attempt. He has mentioned many times that he prefers to be talked to one-on-one in a non-offensive way. I usually hate doing this because I don't want to talk to my peers like I would a child but I think I am going to suck up my pride and not lash out at him, which, at least for me, is extremely difficult. If this does not work, then I will probably take Clod's advice and do a full out intervention with our close friends and his family. I do not want to do this first because I have a very strong feeling that he will take this as an attack on him and isolate himself even further, causing him to hold down his frustrations even further and have it come out in even more destructive ways.

Originally Posted by wolf

Actually, regardless of what you feel, you don't have any responsibility to him ... he has to take it for himself.

My personal view on anything of this sort is that, yes, it is solely his responsibility. I do not feel like this is my fault in anyway. But, on the other hand, I also feel like it the responsibility of a friend, leader, etc, to recognize actions that could cause problems in the future and do something to prevent it.

Basically, this action and any future action is solely the fault of my roommate, but I, as a friend, should try to get him help to prevent problems in the future.

Originally Posted by wolf

Did he get arrested-arrested, or just issued non-traffic citations for Public Drunkenness and Disorderly Conduct

This is what I saw. Handcuffs were being put on him and he fought back, possibility threatening the police, and resulting in him being forced to the ground. Some people said they thought they saw tasers but I couldn't verify anything. Someone tried to videotape him being arrested, so one of the police officers arrested him and called back up, forcing 10 other police cars to show up in the matter of a minute. I don't know if the back up was called because of him or because both police officers were busy wrestling with someone and the bystanders were getting rowdy. I'm assuming the second but my roommate threatened me and others earlier that night so I am assuming he threatened the police as well.

I have no heard from him yet today so I'm assuming this isn't some small charge. But, it is a Sunday and a holiday so it might be that.

Originally Posted by wolf

Acknowledge that the dude fucked up. Give him the number to the campus counselling service or the local crisis hotline, and give him the ride if he asks for it.

That is my usual approach but I know he will not take the offer. Then he will just get worst. That has been the trend for the past few months.

Ultimately, it is his choice to get help or not. If he does not want to change then he will not change. I am going to do my best to convince him that the path he is going down is not in his best interests but that will prove to be MUCH harder since I swear his brain has twelve inch solid steel covering against helpful advice.

[jinx]

Originally Posted by wolf

Interventions do not work like on TV

I love the intervention show, it makes me feel so together and normal.

Ever seen the Sunny in Philly intervention episode? I swear it's the funniest thing I've ever seen on television.
Watch it.