Step-life

[monster]

Originally Posted by kerosene

she is a very smart girl and sees through a lot of the weirdness and brainwashing, already. But, I watch her struggle with basic decisions, like "Will my mom get mad if I cut my bangs?"

Then your role seems clear to me, although not easy.

Firstly, you need to make sure her dad (as the bio parent in your camp) is in total agreement with you

Then your role is to discuss these things with her, as and when they come up, providing the non brain-washed real world perspective and the effects of that on the brainwashed world and vice versa.

So re your cutting bangs example... you tell her that the majority of good Christian people do not believe that is it a sin, that it's a practicality rather than a vanity, and that if she really wants to do it you will support her 100% and maybe even take her to a hairdresser who will do a nice, conservative job ...

....And you tell her that each person needs to find their own spiritual path in life, and it doesn't always completely follow the path of their parents...

....And you tell her that each person needs to decide which battles are worth fighting. Does she want to cut her bangs more than she wants her mother/the church not to look down on her? Might it be better to stay put at this point in case there's another "rebellion" she cares more about further down the line?