To my dear friends--

[spudcon]

Originally Posted by HungLikeJesus

That must have been cheery.

Actually, it was great fun. Here's a couple of the obits...
Services are not being held on February 20th for Carol xxxxx because she has to work the next day, and also because she ain’t dead.
Carol was born and raised in Utica, Playing hooky for most of her high school years at UFA.
After high school, Carol tried her hand at several occupations and several husbands before settling down with her cat on Paris Hill road.
Those attending the wake should expect to see an empty casket, because, like I said, she ain’t gonna be there.


Services are being held today for Jill xxxx, even though she hasn’t died, because only the good die young. Jill spent many years at xxxxx Power Company, where she held the position of “she who makes sure customers remain on hold till they die of old age”, after working her way up from various phone transferring positions.
Jill is survived by her children, grandchildren, and several ungrateful and insulting friends. Mourners are asked to bring oatmeal and a Hibachi to the service.