Who has the most dysfunctional relative?

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

I wanna hear your Thanksgiving stories.

Me, I've got a step-grandfather (married to my grandmother for some 30-ish years, but never accepted as anything resembling a paternal relative by anyone in the family.) He's a poet, which is to say he's earned several hundred dollars over the decades for poetry, supplemented by things like working at Kinko's and collecting disability and my grandmother's social security. He wears a yellow beret everywhere, gives away copies and booklets of his poems at every opportunity, including this Thanksgiving, and is liable to start reciting them if you're not careful.

The best quote from him this evening had to do with why one particular poem in this booklet he passed out to us was so special. "I had to be magical when I was writing that," he said. "I mean, I always have to be magical for my poetry, but I tried extra hard to be magical on that one. I made a vow to the muses that, in exchange for my poetic gifts, I would never take any name other than the one my mother gave me. That's important, you see, because as a Pagan there are many rituals in which you are given a new name. And it was sometimes awkward with people, but I just had to explain to them the vow I'd made, and how I needed to keep my one true name because I had to be magical all the time."

Repo Man:

Otto: You eat a lot of acid, Miller, back in the hippie days?

[Griff]

Everyone was on their best behavior today. It had a weird Norman Rockwell feel to it. It kinda freaks me out reflecting on it.

[Nirvana]

My family does not have to get together to be dysfunctional. Some call each other up on holidays and then they can be dysfunctional long distance.

[Tulip]

We came late cuz I swear the evite my cousin sent was for 1/2 hour later. So the picture taking and gathering and chatting occurred when we hadn't come yet. My nephew got tired so we left early, and that's when they took the drinks out. So, basically, we came, ate, then left without socializing. I don't think we were in any of the happy pictures. (My cousin already posted them in FB.) Nopes, no dysfunction, or at least nothing extreme. There was in incident where a toddler tripped and cried. Her uncle remarked she would've been hurt except her rolls broke her fall. I turned to look but still couldn't understand what the heck he was talking about.

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by Tulip

Her uncle remarked she would've been hurt except her rolls broke her fall. I turned to look but still couldn't understand what the heck he was talking about.

Rolls. Of fat.