The right way to stop a bully

[Aliantha]

Everything you say is true mtp, but in practice, it costs a lot of money to change schools. more money than many if not most families can afford. Particularly those who already have financial stresses (as I suspect the families in these videos have).

There needs to be a holistic approach showing concern not just for the victim, but for the bully also. Clearly according to research bullying is mostly (if not exclusively) perpetrated by those who feel a lack of power in some other area, so with that in mind, we need to address these issues with intensive counselling for the child and also the family.

Unfortunately, a lot of the causes of these issues are due to low socio-economic situations for the family, so the options are limited unless covered by the state, and at this stage, that's not really the case. In extreme circumstances it can be, but often the funds are channelled through ways in which the majority of the benefit is not for the child.


eta: and all of this is assuming the family is willing to accept help, and in many cases, the family simply denies the problem and refuses help.

[morethanpretty]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Everything you say is true mtp, but in practice, it costs a lot of money to change schools. more money than many if not most families can afford. Particularly those who already have financial stresses (as I suspect the families in these videos have).

There needs to be a holistic approach showing concern not just for the victim, but for the bully also. Clearly according to research bullying is mostly (if not exclusively) perpetrated by those who feel a lack of power in some other area, so with that in mind, we need to address these issues with intensive counselling for the child and also the family.

Unfortunately, a lot of the causes of these issues are due to low socio-economic situations for the family, so the options are limited unless covered by the state, and at this stage, that's not really the case. In extreme circumstances it can be, but often the funds are channelled through ways in which the majority of the benefit is not for the child.


eta: and all of this is assuming the family is willing to accept help, and in many cases, the family simply denies the problem and refuses help.

I wholly understand the financial strife issue, and that having to move a child due to bulling would not be easy, nor the perfect solution. Counseling and help to stop the bulling as you suggested probably would be, and has its own financial issues. It makes it all the more sad then that many here see the violent response as a correct reaction, when rather it is far from the ideal, or even most helpful response. No the child should not stand there and "take it" but neither should he be forced to violence, and it is simply NOT true that that is the only way to stop a bully. Just the only one that the victim might think is available, and an option that can be just as dangerous to the victim as it is to the bully.
Even if it is a difficult thing to do, but if it is still an option, if you have to move your child to protect them from that extreme choice, I would think that would be a parent's choice. Just remember, your child may commit involuntary manslaughter even if they're just protecting themselves. If you can at all reduce the chance of that happening, wouldn't you do anything within your power to do so?