Dweller NSFW 2011

[Undertoad]

Originally Posted by Ib

Trans* erasure

Firstly, you do realize that the Cellar was co-founded by a T and has had a high percentage of T users since the beginning.

I find this term to be heavily ironic, because nobody erases the T as much as the post-op! Pre-op womyn are often highly integrated into a support group of fellow Ts that, post-op, they are embarrassed by, and fall away from within weeks. A "real" woman finds being confused for a man more hurtful than offensive, because the proof is in the pudding. And if she wants to prove her status she can just show her pudding, which everyone noticed our anonymous poster did not do.

Compare that reaction to:

I have been struggling with my own gender identity lately, and i'm increasingly sure i'm at least not a cis male, and i know for sure, if i were to post a picture of myself as a female, the MOST offensive and hurtful thing for all the initial responses to be would be "no thats a man."

I think this is a reaction you should spend time getting over. The truth is that mankind *sigh* humankind, and really, all living beasts on the planet are specifically designed to pay attention to, and recognize, gender differences. Men, in particular, have brains designed to recognize sexual maturity.

That's right ladies: we the "standard" males are not staring at your tits because we like to (although we do), we are staring because millions of years of evolution have designed us to notice these signs. It's not because of some lack of sophistication or evolved thought. It's all designed this way, because if we hit it at the moment of biological readiness, the species is more likely to continue than if we wait.

Remarkably, scientists have now shown that a "standard" male's behavior changes when a woman he is pursuing is ovulating. The woman doesn't even know it, but she sends tiny different signals. The man doesn't even know it, but he receives them.

Similarly, a "standard" guy in an adult book shop who reaches the end of the het material and accidentally wanders into the gay section, is instinctively repulsed. So much so that we shiver and avert our eyes and retract without thinking about it. Even a cultured male who understands the basis of homosexuality and knows that it is not a big deal and is not threatened by it, will have this reaction.

So when Sheldon posts a cock-chugging pic, yes, after my 47 years of fighting for gay rights, my hundreds of gay friends and acquaintances, and ALL the time I've spent in theatre groups -- my instinctive reaction is FUCK, I DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO SEE THAT.

I don't particularly *mind* terribly, and I would never ever complain. In fact I work hard to make sure he has a forum to post it and would always fight for his ability to do so. But I would have preferred not to see it. And I love Sheldon like a brother. He's awesome, intelligent, funny, a real character.

Our thousands of years of culture has tried to put a layer of respectable behavior on top of these base, reptile-brain reactions, and sometimes we succeed at doing this. But to be offended by such a reaction is like being angry at the river for only flowing one way. Paddle against the stream if you must, but know that it'll be a hard time, and the river isn't going to change paths, no matter how you rage at it.