Potential sub looking for guidance

[Rrrraven]

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

Also, maybe see a counselor. I'm not trying to be insulting, but from my personal experience I have not met a sub who was emotionally/mentally stable. I might just know the wrong subs, but from that experience, you might benefit from talking to a professional and exploring the reason why you're a sub. I don't mean to suggest that you need to change, but I am just saying that you are young and you might benefit from some professional insight.

I think that suggesting someone might need counseling to explore why they identify as a sub is like telling someone they're not okay for something as basic as sexual orientation. Different is not deviant.

I also think that there tends to be some misinformation outside of the D/s world as to who actually has the *power* in a D/s relationship. Most subs I know are extremely dominant in their professional lives/family lives and choose to submit in their sexual lives. One could argue that the sub has all the power, or even better that a D/s relationship is all about power exchange. Negotiation is optimal in D/s relationships, if you can't negotiate your relationship, your limits, then there is no D/s relationship.

Just my .02

[morethanpretty]

Originally Posted by Rrrraven

I think that suggesting someone might need counseling to explore why they identify as a sub is like telling someone they're not okay for something as basic as sexual orientation. Different is not deviant.

I also think that there tends to be some misinformation outside of the D/s world as to who actually has the *power* in a D/s relationship. Most subs I know are extremely dominant in their professional lives/family lives and choose to submit in their sexual lives. One could argue that the sub has all the power, or even better that a D/s relationship is all about power exchange. Negotiation is optimal in D/s relationships, if you can't negotiate your relationship, your limits, then there is no D/s relationship.

Just my .02

Sexual orientation and lifestyle are not synonymous. Your life should not revolve around another person, or be in the control of someone else. This poster is talking about having a dom tell her what to do on a day to day basis.

where I can surrender control to a dominant on some daily activites (e.g. clothes I wear, food I eat etc.).

Basic vocabulary lesson: different and deviant are synonyms. Just FYI.

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

Sexual orientation and lifestyle are not synonymous. Your life should not revolve around another person, or be in the control of someone else. This poster is talking about having a dom tell her what to do on a day to day basis.

She's talking about surrendering control on certain specified things. This is essentially a form of deep roleplay. Your post shows a fundamental lack of understanding of the BDSM experience.

From her posts, Katie seems self-aware and curious. What better way to try the concept out than by playing the role with an internet dom, in a context that she, the sub, actually controls entirely?

Just because it doesn't float your boat, please don't assume it is sinister.