I found this

[Undertoad]

But if gender is a social fiction, why does it linger across almost all societies, even those largely disconnected from the world? Did they all make it up, or are their actual biological differences that lead to a different psychology which is then mined over generations? If it's a fiction, who wrote it and enforced it for century after century until it became rote?

And Joe, here's one for ya: why feel particularly anxious about not meeting this social standard, and not others? Why was this of critical importance to your psychology?

And mine. I was raised an only child, by a single parent mom, who's a feminist. I have always felt totally awkward about my role in masculinity.

Well it's totally OK to be me and you. We now know biology produces male and females with vastly different levels of various hormones, from vastly different genetics. Male and female psychology is different well before society gets to them. We're born with it.

Psychological sexual differences are the reason for the survival of all species on earth. Why would we imagine we don't have them?

And establishing dominance in a social structure happens with almost all living creatures. What we call "machismo", in other animals, leads them to maim and kill each other.

We think we're above all this, because we can reason and we've come up with a culture to lay over our reptile brains. The fact is we're pretty much chimps, and chimps are disgusting assholes, and we need to spend all our time remembering to not be like that. Overcoming this shit is the height of humanity. Guys like you should be rewarded.