How does one become okay with being single? - Page 3

monster · 10-07-2011, 09:44 PM

Um, people.... this is normal imo.... Almost everybody has awkward moments when they don't know how to end/continue an interaction but kinda know (sometimes after the fact) that it's headed in the wrong direction. Don't they? this social thing ain't easy.

monster · 10-07-2011, 09:45 PM

(It's only sad when you carry this lack of skill onto the interwebs

)

DanaC · 10-07-2011, 09:55 PM

Precisely my point monster. Sundae may feel she's unusually inept in social situations, but that's not what anyone else is seeing. And that feeling is something most of us experience to lesser or greater degrees.

Lola Bunny · 10-07-2011, 09:58 PM

Hmm...so how would it be possible for a person to be lacking in social skills and have it on the internet?

monster · 10-07-2011, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lola Bunny

Hmm...so how would it be possible for a person to be lacking in social skills and have it on the internet?

because one has time to digest before reacting. One is not "on the spot"

monster · 10-07-2011, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

Precisely my point monster. Sundae may feel she's unusually inept in social situations, but that's not what anyone else is seeing. And that feeling is something most of us experience to lesser or greater degrees.

yup. I still get the word economy bonus, though....

monster · 10-07-2011, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

because one has time to digest before reacting. One is not "on the spot"

...it's the real time thing that fucks most people. So many times you think "I shoulda said...." on the Interwebs, you can "make it so".

Lola Bunny · 10-07-2011, 10:08 PM

Perhaps I'm a rather sad puppy because I feel that I'm lacking social skills on the net also. But you are right, I'm much worse in person.

At least on here, there's a chance for me to hold my tongue, so to speak. I sometimes regret after I've pressed the submit reply and it was too late to delete or edit my post. Oh well...

monster · 10-07-2011, 10:10 PM

....and who doesn't?

you come across fine to me...

although you need to stop smoking and move into a place of your own

....yes, just teasing.

plthijinx · 10-09-2011, 05:33 PM

me single. again. broke up with jess again on thursday. 2nd time. well first was mutual but i was reminded of why the second time. she's way too moody. seems that she's upset with me for whatever reason than happy so i broke it off. her being unhappy made me unhappy so i figured what's the point? if me being me pisses you off then why even try to pretend the relationship will work? when things were good things were good but just like texas weather...wait a minute...if you don't like it it will change soon. meh. i dunno. she's a great person. we just don't mix. we're meeting up later this week to talk about it but i don't think it will do any good. we'll prolly make up and try it again for a month or so but it wont last. i like being with her don't get me wrong but when i do something like hang an unexpected u-turn to park to grab a picture of a sunset don't get mad cuz i didn't say hang on. yeah. the pic in the other thread? she got mad cuz i did just that. when we got home she said bye and left.

plthijinx · 10-09-2011, 05:34 PM

lola hunny? you're good. quit bashing yourself.

Perry Winkle · 10-09-2011, 05:59 PM

I don't know about my social skills. I used to think I had none until I witnessed a lot of folks much worse off.

I do know that I'm pretty well beyond caring about meeting others' social expectations in most situations. I'm just my variable self. Seems to charm the hell out of most people, which is awkward since I can't stand to be more intimate than a distant acquaintance with most people.

Yeah. I know I sound like a douche here. Whatever. It's the way I feel in my current hypomanic state, so it might be pretty far from reality.

I'm okay. You're okay. You're probably wrong if you think otherwise, and that's okay.

plthijinx · 10-09-2011, 06:11 PM

alright okay and that's okay with me!

DanaC · 10-10-2011, 02:01 AM

I think most people have confident, smooth days, and also awkwrd, ground-swallow-me-up-wtf-did-I-say-that? days. The trick is recognising that other people cannot see your internal world. What happens inside your head doesn't necessarily show on the outside. Which is a fabulous lesson to learn if you intend to do any public speaking. What may well feel like a massive show of nerves and stumbling, often only presents to others as a slight stilt in the words, and a momentary pause for thought.

Back to the OP though: I think the big difficulty here is that he hasn;t experienced a serious long-term relationship. It's much easier to come to conclusions about what you want and what will make you happy if you have some frame of reference. And the thing we think we want can take on epic proportions if we never have a chance to demystify it by experiencing it.

limey · 10-10-2011, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

D & L, what did she do? Did she squeeze your boobs in public? Reach down her backside and smell her fingers afterwards? Did she make you desperately uncomfortable by pointing out your worst faults? Did she retreat within herself and not say a single word the entire night?

No. She was charming, and smily. and lovely to be around. It was a true pleasure to meet her and I'm looking forward to the next encounter. And she was equally "socially skilled" with all the other people we met (shop-keepers, enamoured drunks etc).

10-07-2011, 09:44 PM	#31
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Um, people.... this is normal imo.... Almost everybody has awkward moments when they don't know how to end/continue an interaction but kinda know (sometimes after the fact) that it's headed in the wrong direction. Don't they? this social thing ain't easy. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-07-2011, 09:45 PM	#32
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	(It's only sad when you carry this lack of skill onto the interwebs ) __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-07-2011, 10:10 PM	#39
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	....and who doesn't? you come across fine to me... although you need to stop smoking and move into a place of your own ....yes, just teasing. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-09-2011, 05:33 PM	#40
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	me single. again. broke up with jess again on thursday. 2nd time. well first was mutual but i was reminded of why the second time. she's way too moody. seems that she's upset with me for whatever reason than happy so i broke it off. her being unhappy made me unhappy so i figured what's the point? if me being me pisses you off then why even try to pretend the relationship will work? when things were good things were good but just like texas weather...wait a minute...if you don't like it it will change soon. meh. i dunno. she's a great person. we just don't mix. we're meeting up later this week to talk about it but i don't think it will do any good. we'll prolly make up and try it again for a month or so but it wont last. i like being with her don't get me wrong but when i do something like hang an unexpected u-turn to park to grab a picture of a sunset don't get mad cuz i didn't say hang on. yeah. the pic in the other thread? she got mad cuz i did just that. when we got home she said bye and left. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

10-09-2011, 05:34 PM	#41
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	lola hunny? you're good. quit bashing yourself. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

10-07-2011, 09:58 PM	#34
Lola Bunny Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 2,728	Hmm...so how would it be possible for a person to be lacking in social skills and have it on the internet?

10-07-2011, 10:08 PM	#38
Lola Bunny Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 2,728	Perhaps I'm a rather sad puppy because I feel that I'm lacking social skills on the net also. But you are right, I'm much worse in person. At least on here, there's a chance for me to hold my tongue, so to speak. I sometimes regret after I've pressed the submit reply and it was too late to delete or edit my post. Oh well...

10-09-2011, 05:59 PM	#42
Perry Winkle Esnohplad Semaj Ton Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 2,259	I don't know about my social skills. I used to think I had none until I witnessed a lot of folks much worse off. I do know that I'm pretty well beyond caring about meeting others' social expectations in most situations. I'm just my variable self. Seems to charm the hell out of most people, which is awkward since I can't stand to be more intimate than a distant acquaintance with most people. Yeah. I know I sound like a douche here. Whatever. It's the way I feel in my current hypomanic state, so it might be pretty far from reality. I'm okay. You're okay. You're probably wrong if you think otherwise, and that's okay.

10-09-2011, 06:11 PM	#43
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	alright okay and that's okay with me! __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

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