tests for potential relationships

[DanaC]

Trace: you're over thinking it hon. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. There's no magic formula. Sometimes you go into a relationship and just know it's right. And it works. Sometimes you go into a relationship and know it's right....and then 18 months later you're picking bits of your shattered heart out of the carpet.

Then again, you could meet someone and it be turmoil and arguments all the way, and yet somehow the relationship survives through the decades.

The thing maybe to learn from your experience, isn't so much to do with what flaws the next person may or may not have, but that moving in together was a bigger step than perhaps either had truly realised. And that the circumstances of that first experience of living together can have a profound bearing on how the relationship pans out.

That and maybe catching some warning signs that you maybe would have missed before. Stuff like, 'I only ever thought I was in love before, this time I know it's real'...kind of thing.

I doubt it will do you any harm to employ a little caution. Not so much on whether to try for a relationship with someone, but perhaps more cautious about how much 'power' you give away in order to move the relationship on, and perhaps the speed with which that happens.

I also think, and correct me if I am wrong, or tell me off this is too personal (;p) but try to avoid girls who you feel need rescuing, fixing, or nurturing because they're damaged. because all too often the end result of that is that they end up with boosted self esteem and you become the person who got them there, not the one who gets to share it with them.

What you need, imo, is something uncomplicated and fun. No major expectations. Just a little healing and mutual enjoyment. Leave the life partner thing for another time. You've time enough for something lighter.