You RFN, 2012

[Ibby]

I know you mean that good-naturedly, but I have to lodge my objection to it, on the grounds that comments like that are A.) essentially binarist in a way that makes me uncomfortable, and B.) is the sort of comment that, by boiling identity down to genitalia, contributes to a massive sense of trans* erasure and sex-essentialism that makes me very uncomfortable.
I'm trying to not get on your case here but still make clear why I think that's a damaging comment, please don't take it personally, I know what you meant, but... I think you could stand to rethink the expression of your sentiment a little. I feel like what you're saying is, on a fundamental level, "well, whatever you call yourself, you're man enough for me", by boiling it down to my plumbing. I understand that your identity as gay puts you in as awkward a position when it comes to your attractions towards the trans* community, the same way it puts a straight girl in an awkward position - but taking an essentialist, binarist position as justification only further marginalizes the trans* community.