Well that's that

Undertoad · 07-08-2012, 12:00 PM

J announced that she's moving out. She's tired of being mad at me all the time. We're too different, she says, and she doesn't want to ask me to change because that's not fair.

We are lucky in that we never actually got married. Perhaps there was an inkling in us that it wasn't really exactly right. But that's not it.

I'm done with relationships for a while. Ah, you know, maybe four-five months until I get my shit together. Although maybe I shouldn't get my shit together because when we started it appeared that I had my shit together and that fake front appearance is attractive. Until they find the truth is you don't have your shit together and then they can just be mad at you all the time.

This is horrible, but I feel like at least I have some experience at it.

footfootfoot · 07-08-2012, 12:08 PM

Sorry to hear that, UT.

That'll teach you to try and get your shit together.

I am taking the approach of "No, my shit isn't together and that's how I plan to keep things, unless I change my mind, in which case you are still not invited to comment on, nor police my behavior in any way."

Then they can be mad at me or not, but then I am not misleading them anymore.

Her: "You never exercise."
Me: "And...? Your point is...?"

Her: "Are you having a third beer?"
Me: "Of course. I have to have a third beer before I can have a fourth beer. You can't just skip a beer. Duh."

Griff · 07-08-2012, 12:15 PM

Sorry dude.

orthodoc · 07-08-2012, 12:19 PM

I'm sorry, UT. No matter what/why/how, it's lousy to go through.
Take care.

limey · 07-08-2012, 01:59 PM

I'm sorry UT. Big hugs to you. We love you shit-an'all <3

Clodfobble · 07-08-2012, 03:17 PM

Aw, man. Sorry this is happening to you. There's no one in the world who has their shit together, I think.

Trilby · 07-08-2012, 03:31 PM

What Clodfobble said. NOBODY has their shit together and if they say they do they are lying. Personally, I can have it together for brief moments in time but a butterfly wing flapping in Brazil can eff it up for me.

The good news is that there can be great peace in loving yourself and cultivating your own garden (so to speak).

Be good to yourself. You're all you've got.

Sundae · 07-08-2012, 03:37 PM

Oh my god UT.
I am so sorry.

Bet it hurts like hell.

Here's to feeling less shitty every week that passes.
Or every month.
Or every year, depending how fucked up you are on a scale of one to ten.
I didn't include decades as I'm sure you're not as fucked up as me.

Thoughts with you.

glatt · 07-08-2012, 04:09 PM

I'm sorry UT. Nobody has their shit together. Some just fake it better than others.

DanaC · 07-08-2012, 04:13 PM

Well, shit. Sorry you're going through it Tony. *hugs*

xoxoxoBruce · 07-08-2012, 04:26 PM

Well fuck.

I know you're hurting, I'm sure J is too. It's double bad when you care about each other, but can't be together without making more hurt.

monster · 07-08-2012, 04:59 PM

WTAS...... Nobody has their shit together. Except maybe the anal retentives, and then it's together in a bad place.......

How long were you together?

F3 -the beer comment ...perfect.

Undertoad · 07-08-2012, 05:05 PM

8 years

jimhelm · 07-08-2012, 05:15 PM

Wow. That means I have known you for 9.

Sorry, ute. 3 months, and 30 lbs from now, you will start to be exited about life again. Not that that helps now. Sorry to you too, Jaq. I hope you two will stay friendly.

•spoken in to my phone

Elspode · 07-08-2012, 05:30 PM

Just got the news, Toad. So sorry to hear, both for you and for J. I will be sending the appropriate juju your way for you to land as solidly on your feet as I did when Selene and I ended things. Peace and hugs, man.

07-08-2012, 12:00 PM	#1
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Well that's that J announced that she's moving out. She's tired of being mad at me all the time. We're too different, she says, and she doesn't want to ask me to change because that's not fair. We are lucky in that we never actually got married. Perhaps there was an inkling in us that it wasn't really exactly right. But that's not it. I'm done with relationships for a while. Ah, you know, maybe four-five months until I get my shit together. Although maybe I shouldn't get my shit together because when we started it appeared that I had my shit together and that fake front appearance is attractive. Until they find the truth is you don't have your shit together and then they can just be mad at you all the time. This is horrible, but I feel like at least I have some experience at it.

07-08-2012, 12:08 PM	#2
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Sorry to hear that, UT. That'll teach you to try and get your shit together. I am taking the approach of "No, my shit isn't together and that's how I plan to keep things, unless I change my mind, in which case you are still not invited to comment on, nor police my behavior in any way." Then they can be mad at me or not, but then I am not misleading them anymore. Her: "You never exercise." Me: "And...? Your point is...?" Her: "Are you having a third beer?" Me: "Of course. I have to have a third beer before I can have a fourth beer. You can't just skip a beer. Duh." __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

07-08-2012, 12:15 PM	#3
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Sorry dude. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

07-08-2012, 12:19 PM	#4
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	I'm sorry, UT. No matter what/why/how, it's lousy to go through. Take care. __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

07-08-2012, 01:59 PM	#5
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	I'm sorry UT. Big hugs to you. We love you shit-an'all <3 __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

07-08-2012, 03:17 PM	#6
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Aw, man. Sorry this is happening to you. There's no one in the world who has their shit together, I think. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

07-08-2012, 03:31 PM	#7
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	What Clodfobble said. NOBODY has their shit together and if they say they do they are lying. Personally, I can have it together for brief moments in time but a butterfly wing flapping in Brazil can eff it up for me. The good news is that there can be great peace in loving yourself and cultivating your own garden (so to speak). Be good to yourself. You're all you've got. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

07-08-2012, 03:37 PM	#8
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Oh my god UT. I am so sorry. Bet it hurts like hell. Here's to feeling less shitty every week that passes. Or every month. Or every year, depending how fucked up you are on a scale of one to ten. I didn't include decades as I'm sure you're not as fucked up as me. Thoughts with you. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

07-08-2012, 04:09 PM	#9
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I'm sorry UT. Nobody has their shit together. Some just fake it better than others.

07-08-2012, 04:26 PM	#11
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Well fuck. I know you're hurting, I'm sure J is too. It's double bad when you care about each other, but can't be together without making more hurt. Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

07-08-2012, 04:59 PM	#12
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	WTAS...... Nobody has their shit together. Except maybe the anal retentives, and then it's together in a bad place....... How long were you together? F3 -the beer comment ...perfect. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

07-08-2012, 05:05 PM	#13
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	8 years

07-08-2012, 05:15 PM	#14
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	Wow. That means I have known you for 9. Sorry, ute. 3 months, and 30 lbs from now, you will start to be exited about life again. Not that that helps now. Sorry to you too, Jaq. I hope you two will stay friendly. •spoken in to my phone __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

07-08-2012, 05:30 PM	#15
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Just got the news, Toad. So sorry to hear, both for you and for J. I will be sending the appropriate juju your way for you to land as solidly on your feet as I did when Selene and I ended things. Peace and hugs, man. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

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