"She", not "he", guys

[BrianR]

Originally Posted by BigV

Thanks again Pam for the extended clarification, I appreciate it. I'm happy to let it stand at this: "my feelings, put into words, about myself". I totally respect that.

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regarding the terminology, can you provide some more clarification for me please? I am ignorant, but I don't wish to offend, even unintentionally. My question is this. Taking you as an example, (with your thick skin and all, whew), are you a transman, or a transwoman? I am uncertain about the usage of the "_ _ _ _ _ m a n" or "_ _ _ _ _ w o m a n" in two cases. Am I to consider the current .... ???? state/appearance of the person I'm speaking to/of? or am I to consider what their genitalia indicated when they were born? Or am I to consider the gender they're striving to conform to?... augh... I think I'm over thinking it but I would like to know more. It would be nice to "get it right". Will you please help?

Thank you V. I will be glad to help you out regarding gender/pronouns/terminology. I am mostly speaking for myself, but what I recommend applies to pretty much all of us except the really militant ones.

Please use the gender/pronouns of the gender that we are presenting to you at the time. Even if we are not "fooling" anyone. Yes, some of us go back and forth. Those would be the ones that are not yet "out" to certain people. They may be protecting themselves, their job, or friends/family. Please respect that. If you are in doubt, please ask us in private. Most will tell you and thank you for your consideration.

The proper term (for me) is transsexual woman, or just woman/female/she/her. Never "it". In my case, you are unlikely to ever see me in male mode ever again. But there are those who are still coming out. If they have told you, but not someone else, take it as a compliment and a vote of confidence.

Transwoman is also acceptable. Once I am through the transition process (I will share this with everyone here), the proper term is female, woman, she/her etc. No trans.

Transsexuality is considered a medical condition and, in most cases, curable with medication and corrective surgery. Once "cured", the dysphoria disappears for the vast majority of us. And our outward presentation is in harmony with our internal identity.