Should I be an ant or a grasshopper?

BrianR · 09-24-2012, 11:17 AM

What if your kids decide to skip college?

Your daughter could meet some guy with an education and marry up! Your other could opt for a military career and spend the next 20 years in uniform!

And since when are parents obligated to provide a four-year degree to a child?

Mine didn't even offer.

glatt · 09-24-2012, 12:27 PM

I came here looking for answers and all I get is questions.

My parents paid for my college and it was sort of understood that I'd send my own kids there if they wanted. My dad was a professor, so it's kind of the family way. In my department at my firm, you honestly don't need a degree to do the work we do, but we require one as a way from separating the slackers from those who can sit and work all day. (Although it didn't work for me. I'm a total Cellar slacker.) So I'm biased towards a college degree, and in this county, the overwhelming majority of people have them, so there is tremendous peer pressure to get one. I believe Arlington is the most educated county in the country. Still, I'm aware that in this economy, people graduating with college degrees aren't getting jobs.

I honestly don't care what makes my kids happy and able to pay the bills. I just want them to be independent and hope they will be happy.

My daughter, the 8th grader, is virtually perfect in academics. I think she's had straight A's since they started giving out letter grades. She has no trouble with school work at all. She is brilliant, however she is not curious about the real world at all and would be happy to just read books in her room all the time. She doesn't like trying new things. I think because she's afraid to fail at them. So she reads. She plays soccer and plays the trombone but is not skilled at either one enough to even hope for a scholarship. The one thing she does show interest in is animals, although it's an abstract interest. She hasn't spent any time around them. She just this week snagged a volunteer position at the local Nature Center, so every Thursday she will be helping to take care of the animals and do similar chores. That should be really good for her. I hope it opens her world up a little bit. She's well liked at school, but doesn't really hang out with her friends much after school. She's just in her room. I can picture her going to college and doing very well, but I can't picture her working anywhere. She says she wants to be a writer or a veterinarian.

My son, the 5th grader, has some trouble in school because he hates to do the school work. He gets decent grades (B's), but compared to his sister, he's not as academic. He is smart and very curious about the world. He's always making stuff and taking things apart and wants to cook in the kitchen, and if I'm working on a project or something, he gets right in there to see what I'm doing and wants to try it too. He knows how to install a toilet, change a tire, and make an omelet. He's three years younger than his sister but far exceeds her in knowing how to do things and wanting to try new things. He's covered in scars because he's fearless. He plays soccer and saxophone. He's nothing special in soccer and it's too soon to know if he'll be good with a sax. He says he wants to be an architect, but I can picture him doing just about anything.

As far as savings go, we have a big nest egg in 401Ks for retirement, and I'm not going to touch that until retirement. We have other savings that I consider the nest egg that might get spent on stuff and is for emergencies and stuff. That's what I figure colleges are going to look at and take before they give us a penny.

This question came up because we have finally decided after years of talking about it that we really need to buy a second car. We went used car shopping over the weekend, but didn't have much time and are still not sure what we want. A minivan would be useful some of the time, but a pain the rest of the time, or a mid sized sedan would be a good compromise. So that got me thinking about money.

The ant and the grasshopper only had themselves to worry about. There was no college waiting to take away the ant's stash of food. If colleges are giving away aid, and it's based on need, a person with a big bank account isn't going to look needy.

xoxoxoBruce · 09-24-2012, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

She is brilliant, however she is not curious about the real world at all and would be happy to just read books in her room all the time. She doesn't like trying new things. I think because she's afraid to fail at them.

Afraid of having any attempt, personally rewarding or not, critiqued in microscopic detail? Sounds like a prime target for the first ne'er-do-well with a nefarious social life.

Quote:

He is smart and very curious about the world. He's always making stuff and taking things apart and wants to cook in the kitchen, and if I'm working on a project or something, he gets right in there to see what I'm doing and wants to try it too... He says he wants to be an architect, but I can picture him doing just about anything.

Becoming the next Neil deGrasse Tyson could be expensive, however my buddy, the "Joe-the-Plumber" contractor, has a fleet of cars/motorcycles, and a million+ house at the DE shore.

Quote:

As far as savings go, we have a big nest egg in 401Ks for retirement, and I'm not going to touch that until retirement. We have other savings that I consider the nest egg that might get spent on stuff and is for emergencies and stuff.

I'd bet not many people die wishing they have more savings.

Quote:

A minivan would be useful some of the time, but a pain the rest of the time, or a mid sized sedan would be a good compromise.

A pain? The pain of feeling you're not sacrificing enough? The pain of taking up an extra 6 inches of community parking space? The pain of a couple mpg less even though without it you have to make an extra trip? The pain of not being able to show your brilliance at creative solutions when shit happens, as it always does?

C'mon man, live a little, you've already fucked up the park designed to shield the residents from the bustling crowds.

Happy Monkey · 09-25-2012, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

I'd bet not many people die wishing they have more savings.

True, but the trick is to die at the right time.

09-24-2012, 11:17 AM	#1
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	What if your kids decide to skip college? Your daughter could meet some guy with an education and marry up! Your other could opt for a military career and spend the next 20 years in uniform! And since when are parents obligated to provide a four-year degree to a child? Mine didn't even offer. __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

09-24-2012, 12:27 PM	#2
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I came here looking for answers and all I get is questions. My parents paid for my college and it was sort of understood that I'd send my own kids there if they wanted. My dad was a professor, so it's kind of the family way. In my department at my firm, you honestly don't need a degree to do the work we do, but we require one as a way from separating the slackers from those who can sit and work all day. (Although it didn't work for me. I'm a total Cellar slacker.) So I'm biased towards a college degree, and in this county, the overwhelming majority of people have them, so there is tremendous peer pressure to get one. I believe Arlington is the most educated county in the country. Still, I'm aware that in this economy, people graduating with college degrees aren't getting jobs. I honestly don't care what makes my kids happy and able to pay the bills. I just want them to be independent and hope they will be happy. My daughter, the 8th grader, is virtually perfect in academics. I think she's had straight A's since they started giving out letter grades. She has no trouble with school work at all. She is brilliant, however she is not curious about the real world at all and would be happy to just read books in her room all the time. She doesn't like trying new things. I think because she's afraid to fail at them. So she reads. She plays soccer and plays the trombone but is not skilled at either one enough to even hope for a scholarship. The one thing she does show interest in is animals, although it's an abstract interest. She hasn't spent any time around them. She just this week snagged a volunteer position at the local Nature Center, so every Thursday she will be helping to take care of the animals and do similar chores. That should be really good for her. I hope it opens her world up a little bit. She's well liked at school, but doesn't really hang out with her friends much after school. She's just in her room. I can picture her going to college and doing very well, but I can't picture her working anywhere. She says she wants to be a writer or a veterinarian. My son, the 5th grader, has some trouble in school because he hates to do the school work. He gets decent grades (B's), but compared to his sister, he's not as academic. He is smart and very curious about the world. He's always making stuff and taking things apart and wants to cook in the kitchen, and if I'm working on a project or something, he gets right in there to see what I'm doing and wants to try it too. He knows how to install a toilet, change a tire, and make an omelet. He's three years younger than his sister but far exceeds her in knowing how to do things and wanting to try new things. He's covered in scars because he's fearless. He plays soccer and saxophone. He's nothing special in soccer and it's too soon to know if he'll be good with a sax. He says he wants to be an architect, but I can picture him doing just about anything. As far as savings go, we have a big nest egg in 401Ks for retirement, and I'm not going to touch that until retirement. We have other savings that I consider the nest egg that might get spent on stuff and is for emergencies and stuff. That's what I figure colleges are going to look at and take before they give us a penny. This question came up because we have finally decided after years of talking about it that we really need to buy a second car. We went used car shopping over the weekend, but didn't have much time and are still not sure what we want. A minivan would be useful some of the time, but a pain the rest of the time, or a mid sized sedan would be a good compromise. So that got me thinking about money. The ant and the grasshopper only had themselves to worry about. There was no college waiting to take away the ant's stash of food. If colleges are giving away aid, and it's based on need, a person with a big bank account isn't going to look needy.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)