|
Thank you, Clod. I should add that I do know I need to set better boundaries. There are behaviors I shouldn't tolerate. I've been on a board for parents of children with various diagnoses for years, and it's easy to see others' situations and recommend boundaries; harder to apply my own advice to myself! However, I know I need to put some firm boundaries in place over the next while. In the past I've always been able to cope, albeit with heartache and frustration, but now I don't have the resilience I did before. He's 24, I know he knows right from wrong at least in basic terms, and reasonable boundaries aren't going to hurt him. He just doesn't see social interactions as anyone else does. His memories, his perceptions, are all different from everyone else's. He really believes he's been hard done by, been unjustly punished or accused or treated, in the past. Right now, I think he truly feels offended ... but he didn't have to go out of his way to be sure I felt bad (I did try to talk with him after, tried to explain and clarify. It didn't matter.). He knows how to hurt me, that's the thing about close relationships.
It's time for some tough love, I think. Somehow it'll get turned back on me, but I can't take this stress. And maybe it'll work out better ... I have a sister who has borderline personality disorder, and taking a big step back and setting some boundaries did wonders for our relationship. We actually have one now. I know what to do ... it's just harder with a child.
__________________
The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi 
|
11-23-2012, 05:45 PM
Threaded Mode