Ask the Transperson

[Pamela]

Originally Posted by Sundae

I've known a few TG people in real life. One was very obvious, and continues to be. She has been supported by her employer and lives completely as a woman, but she does look very much like a man. Then again she didn't even begin her physical journey until she was into her 50s and I believe this makes a difference.

Yes, it DOES make a difference when we begin later in life rather than early. The ones these days who begin pre-puberty have it the best; they will never have to go through the "wrong" puberty and suffer the physical changes.

Originally Posted by Sundae

Another is as Shel describes, but from the opposite perspective. People assume he is gay and are surprised he has a girlfirend. Both of them have had to deal with some cold shoulders from the lesbian community who they once viewed as family. He for not feeling being a woman was good enough, she for "becoming" heterosexual for sticking by the person she loved regardless of changing gender.

Those are statements not questions of course.

Obviously, I missed out on the recent gossip. I thought Shel was gay, too. You will have to fill me in. Fe-mail me!

Originally Posted by Sundae

My question is, if money had been no object, would you have transitioned sooner? Or was it cultural/ societal issues which held you back? Or did you simply start to make your changes when you were emotionally comfortable with doing so? That's not really three questions, because one answer will suffice

No one should transition before they are ready physically and emotionally. To do otherwise invites a negative outcome. I do regret not knowing what Gender Dysphoria was much earlier.

My first exposure to the greater trans-world out there was meeting MaggieL at RichLevy's BBQ so long ago. Until then, I thought I was the only person who felt like this. I felt like a freak, a pervert, a deviant. Once I knew that I wasn't alone and that there was a name for this, I had a direction to look in and research. My local library was not well-stocked in information on our condition, since little such existed at that time. These days, lots of information is a mere Googke search away. Kids have it GOOOOD!

Originally Posted by Sundae

And is there any good TG literature out there?

Fiction or memoirs written from an informed perspective have always helped me to understand different lifestyles more than any number of texts or documentaries. For example, although I can never really feel the impact of AIDs on the gay community, I have a heck of a lot more empathy since Derek Jarman's books sent me down a path of reading various (well-written) memoirs. It was another world which only ran parallel to the one I lived in at the time.

Sure. Try this.

Or jump directly to the .pdf and read.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by Pamela

Obviously, I missed out on the recent gossip. I thought Shel was gay, too. You will have to fill me in.

Sorry, it was awkward sentence structure on my part. I mean that I knew a F>M TG who people assumed was a gay man. Sheldon was born a gay man with the same package he has now!


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[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by Sundae

Sorry, it was awkward sentence structure on my part. I mean that I knew a F>M TG who people assumed was a gay man. Sheldon was born a gay man with the same package he has now!


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Yup. Gay with the original plumbing.