Humor...I Need Humor...

[Molasar]

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
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Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.
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We are here on earth to do good unto others.
What the others are here for, I have no idea.
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In hotel rooms I worry.
I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked.
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As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn
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Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.
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Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.
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America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric.
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If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport
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I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.