Dirt poor?

[glatt]

I think "poor" is really more a state of mind than just a condition of how full your wallet happens to be at a particular point in time.

For me, being poor has more to do with a feeling of hopelessness. That things are not going to get any better any time soon. There were times after I graduated college that I had zero money. I was in debt up to my eyeballs with no income, living in a shitty basement apartment, eating crap. But I knew it was just temporary. Not because I had anything specific lined up, but because I knew that I had things going for me, and that things would work out somehow. I was young, and carefree.

So, yes. There were times that I was below the official poverty level, and I lived accordingly. But even though I was technically poor, I didn't feel poor. If anything, I felt inconvenienced by a lack of money.

Now, I am the sole provider for a family of four. I have significantly more income than back then. But I feel poorer, because I don't see a potential for more in the future. I see that I'm just getting by now, and that expenses will rise in the future, and my salary probably won't be rising enough to meet them.

Don't get me wrong. I have a great life, and no complaints. It's just that in the financial area, I don't have the optimism and carefree feeling I used to have when I was young but poor.

When I was poor, I didn't feel poor. And now that I'm not poor, I do feel poor.