Rice

[DanaC]

I'll never accept it's rape if you change your mind after, or regret your decision.

That's because that is not rape.

However, if you go home with a guy, or take him home with you and then decide you do't actually want sex but he forces himself on you, that is rape. And if you are too unconscious from alcohol and a man decides to have some fun with your body when you're too out of it to know what's happening - that is rape.

Get so far into the act and realise it's actually hurting you (something I have had experience of ) and say - wait, stop, this hurting me. And he refuses to stop, lays his whole weight on you and keeps on going whilst covering up your mouth with his hand to shut you up - is rape.

Having sex that you then regret having? Not rape.

Knowing, as most women do, what you are likely to face if you accuse someone of rape, I cannot imagine many women would throw themselves into that lion's den, just because they had sex they regretted. Most women who go through real and serious rape wuoldn;t want to. Most women who experience date rape don't want to. Most girls who are abused by older men don't want to.

'Crying rape' is not an easy out. There may be occasional circumstances - such as a young woman in a very strict environment, caught out in willing sex, who may hide behind a claim of rape. And some people have mental issues. In much the same way that some people will confess to a crime they haven't committed. There may even be cases where a woman has chosen to take revenge against man or skew a decision on child custody. But the reality of what it actually means to report a rape would put most people off. It's not like reporting a burglary. The police don't turn up assuming you're the victim or that you didn't invite the criminal into your body.