Humor...I Need Humor...

[BigV]

I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

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I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

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Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.

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Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

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Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.

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A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
“What do we want?”.
“Time travel”
“When do we want it?”.
“Irrelevant.”

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What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!

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A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”.

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Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”

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An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.

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Two is the oddest prime.

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If it's green, it's biology
if it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.

[Carruthers]

My neighbour has a lot of time on her hands so I suggested she could do with a hobby. She tells me that she's taken up yoga.

Well, it's better than sitting around doing nothing.

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I've sold my vacuum cleaner. It was just collecting dust.

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A woman walks into a bar and says "Barman! An innuendo, please".

Certainly madam. Would you like a large one?

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Then there was the dyslexic, insomniac agnostic.

He'd lay awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

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