Washington subway crash

[Sundae]

Nothing said over a public address system is in English.
Trace your ancestry back to before William the Conquerer (our version of the Mayflower)? You will still be incomprehensible if you a making a platform announcement on the Tube.

Even on a coach - although most of them are driven by miserable Geordies anyway - no-one will understand what you've said. Even if there isn't a noisy woman yapping on her phone. Which there will be.

In all my years of travel/ commuting on the Underground I never felt the need for a smoke hood, or indeed had any occasion to use one. A rolled up newspaper for twatting people about the head would have been more appropriate, had I ever dared use it.