Nobody Can Take a Joke Anymore

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

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Ah. Yeah, no, that's bullshit. If you have a problem with the word rape - or are likely to be traumatised by someone arguing against the term 'rape culture' then that is a lecture or debate you should avoid.

There is a point at which attempts to validate experience and outweigh the social and legal paradigm of victim-blaming becomes in itself victim-making. Noone who has been raped should be made to feel like they are to blame, and anybody who has been raped has the right to feel about that however the fuck they do feel about that - but this kind of stuff encourages someone in that position to take it deep and make it a part of themselves at an identity level. If anything this kind of approach, to me, seems potentially damaging to people who are vulnerable and young.

I also have a real problem with the way people get offended or hurt by the use of a particular word, regardless of the context in which it is used. It's a bit like that whole furore with Benedict Cumberbatch when he refered to 'coloured' actors. The comment he was making was a progressive and inclusive one - but he thoughtlessly used a word which is outdated and to many people offensive. Everyone focused on his use of that word, instead of what he was saying. Similarly, the word nigger was once in common currency and is naturally present in the literature from that time. If you're going to study that literature, you're going to encounter it. I hate the use of 'the n word'.

I have a similar issue with feminists who get really upset if a guy refers to women as 'birds' or calls them 'love'. If the content of what someone is saying is inoffensive then why take deliberate offence at a clumsy or unconscious use of a particular word? Why get offended if someone is a little behind the times - or just didn't get that memo. I routinely have to think about what is the currently acceptable term for people with disabilities, for example. And I'm conscious about this stuff and take a reasonably high degree of responsibility for my use of terminology and the impact it could have on others. The reality is that on this the goal posts are ever-changing. Each generation reinvents the lexicon. That's ok - but we shouldn't be crucifying people for just for employing the wrong word, nor should we be cultivating a sense that we are all just bouncing around from one PTSD inducing trauma to the next in which a word alone can trigger a psychological breakdown.

Words can be weapons. I do believe that. They can cause great harm. They are the foundation of some of the worst acts of cruelty we as humans engage in. They shore up hatred and inequality and they sow the seeds of violence against those who are different from us. But only if that's what they are used for. The people who fought against racism and oppression in America's civil rights movement used language and terminology that would make us deeply uncomfortable today.