What if your reproduction plans are derailed?

[glatt]

Yeah, well I don't know either. I'm just making this up. But there have to be contracts involved. I remember hearing about an instance years ago where a surrogate didn't want to hand over the baby to the biological parents after carrying it for 9 months, and the courts getting involved. As a result of that, there have got to be legal contracts now. And any halfway decent lawyer who draws up such a contract has got to predict the possibility of a desired abortion.

Don't make me go googling this stuff.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by glatt

Yeah, well I don't know either. I'm just making this up. But there have to be contracts involved.

Not if it's some sort of back-room deal.
Seems to me it's easy enough to come to a verbal agreement regarding knocking someone up and promising to take care of them.
And you can sign anything you like without it being legal.

If the child is biologically hers, the situation is surely no different than if she'd had an affair with the husband.
She wants the child, she keeps the child. Dad has to pay (or at least he would in this country.) That may suck gender-wise, but we have a thread which proves that quite a few things do.

If she really is only the oven in which the bun is baked, she has some tough decisions to make. She may not even be allowed to adopt the child, depending on her circumstances.

Bringing up a disabled child alone - any child alone - is tough. Down's varies in severity, but without free healthcare it's going to be even tougher. I don't know the set-up in Canada.

I knew a girl whose mother fostered Down's children, after having one of her own, and there are a host of unseen health complications. Also people tend to categorise Down's children and adults as lovely, cuddly, simple and child-like, but they come in all flavours, believe me. Some can be very difficult to live with.

Just because she doesn't believe in abortion, doesn't mean she is emotionally, temperamentally or financially suitable to raise this child. Of course with a "normal" set-up, none of that is guaranteed anyway. Or adoptions, fostering and children's homes wouldn't exist. It's just been complicated in this case.

I hope for the best for the child, whatever that turns out to be.

What would I do? Personally?
I'd have terminated the pregnancy when the surrogate parents said they were unwilling to take the chance.
If I wanted a child, I'd have had a child, without the whole song and dance of surrogacy. But I'm in a position where I'm barely balancing as it is, so my choices would not reflect hers.
Chances are, if we're hearing about it now, the foetus is already viable (able to survive as a premature baby.) At that point I'd have to go for adoption. I don't think you have to be Pro-Life or Pro-Choice all the way down the line. I see 12 weeks in a different way to 22.