I'm feeling slightly sick

[anonymous]

That just makes me want to cry, Clodfobble. And yes, Undertoad, that is what I thought at the time.

Some time after we split (because I can't transit from lovers to friends without a break) the culprit and I became friends again and he was very kind and helpful to me at a very traumatic point in my life. You could not imagine a less devious, kinder person, less likely to put his own interests over those of others. Or so I thought. So I am also grieving for the loss of a friend.
And then I find myself in church this afternoon (not my belief system, but an obligation to others took me there). It is the culprit's belief system and I begin to wonder how you square off the two in your head. He was, by all accounts, full of remorse and basically gave himself up at the first indication of the accusations; is now imprisoned for four years (at least two), with corrective treatment and a ban on contacting the victims for life afterwards. And then there is all this talk of forgiveness around me and I think: "Poor bastard. He has lost his family (all of it), friends, job, everything. What he needs is a friend". Part of me wants to be that friend - who has continued to see all the good in him (which there was).

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by anonymous

I have just discovered that a past boyfriend (about a 3 year relationship, around 15 years ago) has been convicted as a serial child sex offender. ...

... In a strange way I feel violated, but I cannot share this with anyone because ... well, TMI for my current partner, or anyone else I know IRL.

Originally Posted by anonymous

... I think: "Poor bastard. He has lost his family (all of it), friends, job, everything. What he needs is a friend". Part of me wants to be that friend - who has continued to see all the good in him (which there was).

How does your current partner and everyone else you know IRL fit into that?

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by sexobon

How does your current partner and everyone else you know IRL fit into that?

There you go dragging logic and reason into it.

[anonymous]

Originally Posted by sexobon

How does your current partner and everyone else you know IRL fit into that?

The only bit I cannot share with my current partner and friends IRL is the fanny-shaving episode because, well, TMI.
Partner knows all of the people involved and the whole story. I have mentioned continuing the friendship to partner, and we're both thinking about it, but his initial reaction was neutral-to-sympathetic.
As to my other friends IRL - very few of them know culprit so I don't see that as an issue, and there are even fewer (one, in fact) that I would even think of discussing it with. Among my acquaintance there is a victim's parent (also an ex-partner of culprit, and who told me of these dreadful events), and that victim. But I do not see these people at all frequently and it would be easy for me not to share with them my continued friendship with culprit. Indeed victim's parent expressed, amongst many other things, pity for culprit, but I still would screen them from my contact with culprit, if I chose to get in touch with him.

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by anonymous

... The only bit I cannot share with my current partner and friends IRL is the fanny-shaving episode ... Among my acquaintance there is a victim's parent (also an ex-partner of culprit, and who told me of these dreadful events), ... parent expressed, amongst many other things, pity for culprit, but I still would screen them from my contact with culprit, if I chose to get in touch with him.

Sounds like a catch 22. To make an informed choice, you need to answer a key question. To answer a key question, you need information that you may not be able to get because it constitutes TMI. Did culprit; or, did culprit not shave his other ex-partner's fanny too?

[sexobon]

I don't find that relevant to my statement having to do with a former significant other coming back into her life and her not being able to disclose it to any of her other friends except for one and that one is only a maybe.

Originally Posted by anonymous

... As to my other friends IRL - very few of them know culprit so I don't see that as an issue, and there are even fewer (one, in fact) that I would even think of discussing it with. Among my acquaintance there is a victim's parent (also an ex-partner of culprit, and who told me of these dreadful events), and that victim. But I do not see these people at all frequently and it would be easy for me not to share with them my continued friendship with culprit. Indeed victim's parent expressed, amongst many other things, pity for culprit, but I still would screen them from my contact with culprit, if I chose to get in touch with him.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I question they assumption that shaving your pussy was because of his predilection for children. A awful lot of guys like shaved women. I doubt you were aiding and abetting by complying with that request.