Feeling stuck... (thoughts on divorce & poly)

[classicman]

I'm sorry you are going through this, Iggy.
I'll just offer that you should speak with an atty specifically regarding your financial situation.
Dunno bout KS laws, but if you make more than him, you may owe him support.
Google the crap outta this on a PRIVATE computer.
Also, there is life on the other side of divorce and it can be a happy one.

[Iggy]

Originally Posted by classicman

I'm sorry you are going through this, Iggy.
I'll just offer that you should speak with an atty specifically regarding your financial situation.
Dunno bout KS laws, but if you make more than him, you may owe him support.
Google the crap outta this on a PRIVATE computer.
Also, there is life on the other side of divorce and it can be a happy one. -on:

Thanks. When I get to the point where I'm ready for divorce I will definitely consult a lawyer.

I don't make *that* much more than Mr. Iggy... Maybe 25-35% more each year. I plan to try for primary custody of our daughter. I already do everything for her now... Drop her off and pick her.up from daycare, bath-time and bedtime routines, etc. I'm not positive, but I think as long as I have primary custody I don't have to pay him anything... But I also don't know if he would be told to pay me. He definitely wouldn't get alimony because he has held down a job and the pay discrepancy isn't ginormous.

I don't have a way to consult an attorney until I've made my choice to leave.... Finances are shared and he would find out if I paid someone. If I'm ready to leave I can delay him finding out for a short time, but he would definitely find out.

[Glinda]

Originally Posted by Iggy

Thanks. When I get to the point where I'm ready for divorce I will definitely consult a lawyer.

I think it might be helpful to consult with a family law attorney before you get to that point. A competent attorney would be able to advise you on issues you may not have even considered. The good news is, there are plenty of attorneys that don't charge for an initial consultation.

And, if you can find one, I highly recommend going with a "certified specialist."

attorneys who have met or exceeded rigorous certification standards relating to experience, continuing legal education and integrity while demonstrating an in-depth understanding of the law in their specialty area

I used to be an administrator for the California State Bar Legal Specialization program, working with family law and taxation law attorneys. If someone can make it through the certification process (very lengthy and difficult to achieve), you can be assured that the certified attorney is the best of the best. Honest, ethical, experienced, and wise.

Not every state has this program, but the National Board Of Trial Advocacy also certifies attorneys in specific areas of law. I see that there is one such certified family law attorney in Kansas . . .

http://www.paprotalaw.com/practice_areas.html

I hope this helps.