How to do things The Right Way™ - Page 2

Stress Puppy · 03-13-2009, 10:26 AM

Quote:

It will water itself down when the ice melts

Why would you water down your booze? (No ice here)

Flint · 03-13-2009, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stress Puppy

Why would you water down your booze? (No ice here)

I think the half-melted ice has a nice flavor. It tastes good to me.

capnhowdy · 03-12-2009, 06:43 AM

Lather
Rinse
Repeat

classicman · 03-12-2009, 08:59 AM

underwear
shirt
socks
pants
shoes

Undertoad · 03-12-2009, 09:09 AM

After showering, dry yourself from top to bottom.

Coffee beans must be ground just before brewing.

As she nears orgasm, suck lightly on the clitoris.

Shawnee123 · 03-12-2009, 09:09 AM

This is for all the younger dwellars, as they set out to find their own places and, if you're anything like I was, start out with cheap furniture from Odd Lots or K-mart that requires massive assembly. YMMV, I love putting stuff together:

1) Take everything out of the box.
2) Find the directions. Look at them. Love them. Embrace them.
3) Sort out all the pieces. If you have 2 Screw Cs, make sure you are supposed to have two and not four.
4) Lay all sorted pieces out in generally the same order you will be needing them.
5) Follow Step 1 of directions
6) Follow Step 2 of directions
7) Continue in this manner until finished.
8) If you've read the directions, you will know you don't completely tighten any screws or nuts until the end. Do this now.
9) If you've followed the directions religiously, you will have a particle board coffee table Ethan Allen himself would be proud of.
Oh, and I guess the prologue to Step 1 would be "buy screwdriver."

Queen of the Ryche · 03-12-2009, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

Here's two I'm pretty sure about. Add your own.

Grill a Steak

Use a wood-handled 1” stiff wire brush to do a rough cleaning.
Thoroughly clean out the dust under the bottom grate to ensure maximum airflow.
Run out an extension cord, attached to an old hair dryer (will be retired/re-purposed).
Pile plenty of charcoal in a tight pyramid, with at least half a bottle of lighter fluid.
Fire it up and use the hair dryer to direct a cleaning cycle. Hit all corners of the grill.
Once the flames have died down a little, go over the grate thoroughly with the wire brush.
Manage the coal fire with the hair dryer. Keep the heat even. Get them WHITE HOT.
Have a perfectly-shaped stick to poke through the grate, spreading the coals evenly.
Dust off the grate with a whisk broom.
Wipe down the grate thoroughly with wet paper towels.
Coat the grate with as much olive oil as you can get to stick.
Throw the steaks on; ignore the flames.
Shut the lid; ignore the smoke pouring out.
Flip ONCE and ONLY ONCE with tongs (do NOT poke).
NEVER EVER cut the steaks to see if they are done.
The steaks should come out flame-seared on the outside, with a clearly delineated brown/pink/brown pattern revealed when cut.

Mix a Drink

Over-fill a short cocktail glass with ice cubes.
Fill the glass with tap water and shake until all the cubes just fit inside the glass.
This cleans the freezer burn off the cubes and ensures the glass is FULL of ice.
Drain the tap water, and add one half inch of clean filtered water.
This is known as “Wet Ice” and is the basis of a good drink.
Fill the glass with the straight, hard liquor of your choice.

So what time should I be there? (I like mine rare, and Johnnie Walker Black will do just fine thanks.)

Beest · 03-12-2009, 11:08 AM

"always add acid to water"

Cane · 03-12-2009, 07:34 PM

You mix the drink before you cook the steaks, right?

capnhowdy · 03-12-2009, 07:43 PM

The drunker you are the better they taste.

Undertoad · 03-12-2009, 09:20 PM

Additional research shows that while extra virgin's smoke point is somewhat low, the more refined extra-light olive oil has the same smoke point as corn oil. You may resume in perfection, just use the extra-light.

I never knew that about the cymbal. Goodness.

Flint · 03-12-2009, 09:22 PM

I'm surprised nobody has commented on the hair dryer.

dar512 · 03-13-2009, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

I'm surprised nobody has commented on the hair dryer.

<tim allen>For real power, you use a leaf blower.</tim allen>

I actually saw this done in Seattle at an off-site where they were making smoked salmon for 50 people.

dar512 · 03-13-2009, 09:29 AM

Nice, lj. Thanks.

Undertoad · 03-12-2009, 09:22 PM

I thought that was an Alton Brown innovation. It's in his book.

03-12-2009, 06:43 AM	#3
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	Lather Rinse Repeat __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

03-12-2009, 08:59 AM	#4
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	underwear shirt socks pants shoes __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

03-12-2009, 09:09 AM	#6
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	This is for all the younger dwellars, as they set out to find their own places and, if you're anything like I was, start out with cheap furniture from Odd Lots or K-mart that requires massive assembly. YMMV, I love putting stuff together: 1) Take everything out of the box. 2) Find the directions. Look at them. Love them. Embrace them. 3) Sort out all the pieces. If you have 2 Screw Cs, make sure you are supposed to have two and not four. 4) Lay all sorted pieces out in generally the same order you will be needing them. 5) Follow Step 1 of directions 6) Follow Step 2 of directions 7) Continue in this manner until finished. 8) If you've read the directions, you will know you don't completely tighten any screws or nuts until the end. Do this now. 9) If you've followed the directions religiously, you will have a particle board coffee table Ethan Allen himself would be proud of. Oh, and I guess the prologue to Step 1 would be "buy screwdriver." __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby Last edited by Shawnee123; 03-12-2009 at 09:26 AM.

03-12-2009, 07:34 PM	#9
Cane Same Rhetoric, Different President Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Lake Worth, FL, USA Posts: 9	You mix the drink before you cook the steaks, right? __________________ "True!--nervous--very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad?"

03-12-2009, 07:43 PM	#10
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	The drunker you are the better they taste. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

03-12-2009, 09:09 AM	#5
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	After showering, dry yourself from top to bottom. Coffee beans must be ground just before brewing. As she nears orgasm, suck lightly on the clitoris.

03-12-2009, 11:08 AM	#8
Beest Adapt and Survive Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Ann Arbor, Mi Posts: 957	"always add acid to water"

03-12-2009, 09:20 PM	#11
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Additional research shows that while extra virgin's smoke point is somewhat low, the more refined extra-light olive oil has the same smoke point as corn oil. You may resume in perfection, just use the extra-light. I never knew that about the cymbal. Goodness.

03-12-2009, 09:22 PM	#12
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	I'm surprised nobody has commented on the hair dryer. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

03-13-2009, 09:29 AM	#14
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	Nice, lj. Thanks. __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

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