To fart or not to fart? - Page 4

barefoot serpent · 12-01-2006, 09:06 AM

With only a very slight mid-course maneuver in our evolutionary trajectory, aural communication could have developed in another bodily orifice instead of the mouth. I guess that means our Elspode would need to learn ASL or would that be ASSL?

Shawnee123 · 12-01-2006, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigV

(One of) the best lines ever:

"Did you fart?!"

"Hell yes, I farted! You don't think I smell like this all the time, do you?!"

Or:

I don't know what you had for dinner but it's no excuse.

12-01-2006, 11:44 AM

I just lie.
"Did you fart"
Just look them dead in the eye and say "Nope" as honestly as you can muster without smiling. I pretend I am in front of Congress.
That way they know you are lying. You always get lots of fun reactions. Mostly very subtle confusion.
What sucks now is that most of my friends and family have figured out that if I am serious I am fucking around.

I think it is unnatural and insane to treat farting like it is wrong somehow and refuse to do so. I am polite about it (to me that means saying "excuse me" after I do it, nothing more)... in a good mood I have asked total strangers to pull my finger... I can usually get them to do it. I still think of it as an acting exercise to see how many different tactics I can try in polite company.
Yes, I can be a challenge to be friends with or be married to if you are humor deficient and/or self-conscious.

Shawnee123 · 12-01-2006, 11:52 AM

Daddy always told me "there's more room out than in."

Momma always said "ladies go hide in a corner to fart.'

Luckily, I have only brothers! You had to play the fart game, or wither away.

12-01-2006, 11:54 AM

LOL.... "Daddy, why is mommy in time-out?"

Shawnee123 · 12-01-2006, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

LOL.... "Daddy, why is mommy in time-out?"

Elspode · 12-01-2006, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barefoot serpent

With only a very slight mid-course maneuver in our evolutionary trajectory, aural communication could have developed in another bodily orifice instead of the mouth. I guess that means our Elspode would need to learn ASL or would that be ASSL?

Furthermore, my appliance would be the equivalent of me having to wear a muzzle.

BigV · 12-01-2006, 02:37 PM

Why fart and waste it
When you can burp and taste it?

BigV · 12-01-2006, 02:38 PM

Better out the attic
Than in the basement.

BigV · 12-01-2006, 02:39 PM

Women do not fart.

We all know why.

Shocker · 12-01-2006, 03:24 PM

You should never hold in your farts.

If you do then because farts are made of air, they will travel up your body and into your brain, and that is where shitty ideas come from.

Just thought you should know.

bbro · 12-01-2006, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigV

Women do not fart.

We all know why.

I don't - why??

Shawnee123 · 12-01-2006, 03:38 PM

Yeah, why?

Shocker · 12-01-2006, 03:42 PM

Women do fart... it's just that their farts are flowery and not stinky

bbro · 12-01-2006, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shocker

Women do fart... it's just that their farts are flowery and not stinky

Obviously you have never smelt my farst!!

12-01-2006, 09:06 AM	#46
barefoot serpent go ahead, abbrev. it Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Lawrence, KS Posts: 2,623	With only a very slight mid-course maneuver in our evolutionary trajectory, aural communication could have developed in another bodily orifice instead of the mouth. I guess that means our Elspode would need to learn ASL or would that be ASSL? __________________ Chooses rowing vs. wading

12-01-2006, 11:44 AM	#48
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	I just lie. "Did you fart" Just look them dead in the eye and say "Nope" as honestly as you can muster without smiling. I pretend I am in front of Congress. That way they know you are lying. You always get lots of fun reactions. Mostly very subtle confusion. What sucks now is that most of my friends and family have figured out that if I am serious I am fucking around. I think it is unnatural and insane to treat farting like it is wrong somehow and refuse to do so. I am polite about it (to me that means saying "excuse me" after I do it, nothing more)... in a good mood I have asked total strangers to pull my finger... I can usually get them to do it. I still think of it as an acting exercise to see how many different tactics I can try in polite company. Yes, I can be a challenge to be friends with or be married to if you are humor deficient and/or self-conscious. Last edited by rkzenrage; 12-01-2006 at 11:47 AM.

12-01-2006, 11:52 AM	#49
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Daddy always told me "there's more room out than in." Momma always said "ladies go hide in a corner to fart.' Luckily, I have only brothers! You had to play the fart game, or wither away. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

12-01-2006, 02:37 PM	#53
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Why fart and waste it When you can burp and taste it? __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

12-01-2006, 02:38 PM	#54
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Better out the attic Than in the basement. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

12-01-2006, 11:54 AM	#50
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	LOL.... "Daddy, why is mommy in time-out?"

12-01-2006, 02:39 PM	#55
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Women do not fart. We all know why. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

12-01-2006, 03:24 PM	#56
Shocker Knight of the Oval-Shaped Conference Table Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Your Mom's house Posts: 378	You should never hold in your farts. If you do then because farts are made of air, they will travel up your body and into your brain, and that is where shitty ideas come from. Just thought you should know. __________________ “I live only for posterity. Death is nothing, but to live defeated and without glory is to die everyday." - Napolean Bonaparte

12-01-2006, 03:38 PM	#58
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Yeah, why? __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

12-01-2006, 03:42 PM	#59
Shocker Knight of the Oval-Shaped Conference Table Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Your Mom's house Posts: 378	Women do fart... it's just that their farts are flowery and not stinky __________________ “I live only for posterity. Death is nothing, but to live defeated and without glory is to die everyday." - Napolean Bonaparte

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