What am I to do with her...?

Cyclefrance · 03-21-2006, 02:30 PM

I thought about posting this, but couldn't quite put it into the right words - so I've pinched those from my son's blog instead - enjoy:

"And in other news, my mother has gone ahead with the purchase of a trampoline. I dread to think of the horrors that await me this summer. Coming home after a long days work to find my mother bouncing up and down in the garden with a glass of wine and Basement Jaxx playing on the stereo is an alarmingly possible scenario. Still, as possible mid life crisis' go, a trampoline isn't the worst it could have been. It'll also fuel the need for me to find a place of my own soon, which I'm sure was her plan all along."

Yes, mid-life crisis is hitting the better-half. Before you consider the above is just an isoloated incident, I have another tale to tell.

We have this sort of oriental end to the main room, the dining bit. All came about 10 years ago, or thereabouts when holidaying in Florida. Did the usual touristy trip - Mickey Mouse week 1, swampy bits week 2. It was while we were in Naples in week 2 that it happened. The local Mall had a unit occupied over Easter by a Chinese furniture importer. Easter had just finished and it was half-price sale time (which meant about quarter price when compared to UK prices). I was working in the air cargo market at the time, and as a result could lay my hands on cheap air freight. Result, the wife bought half the shop - well not really, just the following two items:

Cyclefrance · 03-21-2006, 02:32 PM

Well, two wasn't enough, the tryptich (first picture) was heavy enough, let alone the four-fold screen, but no she had to go back for a third item:

.

Cyclefrance · 03-21-2006, 02:39 PM

I know, I know... how can you possible even begin to exist without a Buddha lamp in a corner of the room.

Anyway, it all arrived safely and found it's place in the dining area both of our last house and this one.

I thought that was it - and certainly that after ten years the effect had worn off, but then it happened.

She'd met this little man in this shop near our last place. Every time she called in, he was there - without fail. She couldn't resist him. It seemed that every spare moment she had, she was slipping out to see him. In the end, I gave up. He now lives with us, Not the outcome I had expected - actually, on second thoughts, exactly the outcome I expected!

So judge for yourself. I can't bear to have him here in this entry so he'll have to have his own separate one....

Cyclefrance · 03-21-2006, 02:42 PM

So here he is, doesn't talk much, but somehow seems to dominate the place - oh, and just in case you wanted to know, the trampoline arrives Friday - I promise some photos.... without fail...... definitely!

(Do you think I should call the men in white coats....?)

Trilby · 03-21-2006, 03:40 PM

Cyclefrance--you are hilarious (and, so is your son!)--I'm enjoying the hell out of this! Thanks for sharing!

barefoot serpent · 03-21-2006, 05:24 PM

[in an inscrutable eastern voice]I'm sure your Feng Shui has benefitted greatly from these appurtanances. The trampoline -- I'm not so sure about. But, with some auspicious location in the garden, all will be kopacetic.[/inscrutability]

jojo · 03-21-2006, 07:54 PM

hee hee! obviously, your wife does not have the common plague of mother's everywhere after delivering children, or jumping on a trampoline would require a special "undergarment".
seriously, i think it's great! way to go mom!!

xoxoxoBruce · 03-21-2006, 08:28 PM

Did Buddha come with that parasol, or was that a separate find?

wolf · 03-24-2006, 12:49 AM

Since it takes too long to get an appointment with the National Health Psychiatrist, you should probably just have her taken off the checking account and cancel her credit cards.

The lamp is kind of cool, but I think that the shade that goes with it is rather frightening.

richlevy · 03-24-2006, 07:02 AM

Well, on the bright side, "The Men Show" seems to have done pretty well for itself with videos of women jumping on trampolines in skimpy clothes.

If the Cellar ever gets a user's video section, please feel free to upload.

jinx · 03-24-2006, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

The lamp is kind of cool, but I think that the shade that goes with it is rather frightening.

Is it supposed to be the bodhi tree or something?

Cyclefrance · 03-25-2006, 01:26 PM

Sorry, been ignoring all these questions - the shade/parasol was part and parcel of the lamp. The metal circle behind the metal Buddha represents the Bodhi tree - I think it is quite often shown as a circle behind a seated Buddha.

News alert! News alert!
Not a good day in the CF househod - the trampoline was supposed to be delivered yesterday - it never arrived. Appears the driver for the delivery company couldn't find our place. He never thought to phone the wife on the mobile number she had been asked to give precisely for such an eventuality. Wife not approachable right now - maybe in another hour. Finding things to do that involve safe distance without being too obvious (cleaning lawn mower, checking over new bike, nipping into town...)

Four phone calls later. It's now scheduled to arrive Monday evening, and, as we are entering the time of lighter evenings, the prospect of some video footage is well within the realms of probability, but not until I gte back to the UK next weekend (can you hold out that long....??)

Trilby · 03-25-2006, 02:37 PM

Dude. That NEVER woulda happened in America! (mutters) g*ddamn Anglash!(end mutters)

Note: I am the great-great granddaughter of an Irish immigrant, starved out by the Anglash. Much like many of the warriors in BRAVEHEART, so, so...reap the whirlwind, CF!

I kid, I kid!

ashke · 03-25-2006, 07:53 PM

The golden crane screen is very nice though. Maybe you can think of them as conversation pieces...

Cyclefrance · 03-26-2006, 12:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

Dude. That NEVER woulda happened in America! (mutters) g*ddamn Anglash!(end mutters)

Note: I am the great-great granddaughter of an Irish immigrant, starved out by the Anglash. Much like many of the warriors in BRAVEHEART, so, so...reap the whirlwind, CF!

I kid, I kid!

Not to worry Brianna, I have already had my little counter-dig at the Irish in the Image Association thread - see here and then here

03-21-2006, 02:30 PM	#1
Cyclefrance Pump my ride! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England Posts: 1,890	What am I to do with her...? I thought about posting this, but couldn't quite put it into the right words - so I've pinched those from my son's blog instead - enjoy: "And in other news, my mother has gone ahead with the purchase of a trampoline. I dread to think of the horrors that await me this summer. Coming home after a long days work to find my mother bouncing up and down in the garden with a glass of wine and Basement Jaxx playing on the stereo is an alarmingly possible scenario. Still, as possible mid life crisis' go, a trampoline isn't the worst it could have been. It'll also fuel the need for me to find a place of my own soon, which I'm sure was her plan all along." Yes, mid-life crisis is hitting the better-half. Before you consider the above is just an isoloated incident, I have another tale to tell. We have this sort of oriental end to the main room, the dining bit. All came about 10 years ago, or thereabouts when holidaying in Florida. Did the usual touristy trip - Mickey Mouse week 1, swampy bits week 2. It was while we were in Naples in week 2 that it happened. The local Mall had a unit occupied over Easter by a Chinese furniture importer. Easter had just finished and it was half-price sale time (which meant about quarter price when compared to UK prices). I was working in the air cargo market at the time, and as a result could lay my hands on cheap air freight. Result, the wife bought half the shop - well not really, just the following two items: Attached Images __________________ Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears Last edited by Cyclefrance; 03-21-2006 at 02:46 PM.

03-21-2006, 02:32 PM	#2
Cyclefrance Pump my ride! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England Posts: 1,890	Well, two wasn't enough, the tryptich (first picture) was heavy enough, let alone the four-fold screen, but no she had to go back for a third item: . Attached Images __________________ Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears Last edited by Cyclefrance; 03-21-2006 at 02:48 PM.

03-21-2006, 02:39 PM	#3
Cyclefrance Pump my ride! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England Posts: 1,890	I know, I know... how can you possible even begin to exist without a Buddha lamp in a corner of the room. Anyway, it all arrived safely and found it's place in the dining area both of our last house and this one. I thought that was it - and certainly that after ten years the effect had worn off, but then it happened. She'd met this little man in this shop near our last place. Every time she called in, he was there - without fail. She couldn't resist him. It seemed that every spare moment she had, she was slipping out to see him. In the end, I gave up. He now lives with us, Not the outcome I had expected - actually, on second thoughts, exactly the outcome I expected! So judge for yourself. I can't bear to have him here in this entry so he'll have to have his own separate one.... __________________ Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears Last edited by Cyclefrance; 03-21-2006 at 02:48 PM.

03-21-2006, 02:42 PM	#4
Cyclefrance Pump my ride! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England Posts: 1,890	So here he is, doesn't talk much, but somehow seems to dominate the place - oh, and just in case you wanted to know, the trampoline arrives Friday - I promise some photos.... without fail...... definitely! (Do you think I should call the men in white coats....?) Attached Images __________________ Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears Last edited by Cyclefrance; 03-21-2006 at 02:50 PM.

03-21-2006, 08:28 PM	#8
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Did Buddha come with that parasol, or was that a separate find? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

03-21-2006, 03:40 PM	#5
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Cyclefrance--you are hilarious (and, so is your son!)--I'm enjoying the hell out of this! Thanks for sharing!

03-21-2006, 05:24 PM	#6
barefoot serpent go ahead, abbrev. it Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Lawrence, KS Posts: 2,623	[in an inscrutable eastern voice]I'm sure your Feng Shui has benefitted greatly from these appurtanances. The trampoline -- I'm not so sure about. But, with some auspicious location in the garden, all will be kopacetic.[/inscrutability]

03-21-2006, 07:54 PM	#7
jojo is anyone home? Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: state of denial Posts: 42	hee hee! obviously, your wife does not have the common plague of mother's everywhere after delivering children, or jumping on a trampoline would require a special "undergarment". seriously, i think it's great! way to go mom!!

03-24-2006, 12:49 AM	#9
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Since it takes too long to get an appointment with the National Health Psychiatrist, you should probably just have her taken off the checking account and cancel her credit cards. The lamp is kind of cool, but I think that the shade that goes with it is rather frightening. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-24-2006, 07:02 AM	#10
richlevy King Of Wishful Thinking Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Philadelphia Suburbs Posts: 6,669	Well, on the bright side, "The Men Show" seems to have done pretty well for itself with videos of women jumping on trampolines in skimpy clothes. If the Cellar ever gets a user's video section, please feel free to upload. __________________ Exercise your rights and remember your obligations - VOTE! I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting. -- Barack Hussein Obama

03-25-2006, 01:26 PM	#12
Cyclefrance Pump my ride! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England Posts: 1,890	Sorry, been ignoring all these questions - the shade/parasol was part and parcel of the lamp. The metal circle behind the metal Buddha represents the Bodhi tree - I think it is quite often shown as a circle behind a seated Buddha. News alert! News alert! Not a good day in the CF househod - the trampoline was supposed to be delivered yesterday - it never arrived. Appears the driver for the delivery company couldn't find our place. He never thought to phone the wife on the mobile number she had been asked to give precisely for such an eventuality. Wife not approachable right now - maybe in another hour. Finding things to do that involve safe distance without being too obvious (cleaning lawn mower, checking over new bike, nipping into town...) Four phone calls later. It's now scheduled to arrive Monday evening, and, as we are entering the time of lighter evenings, the prospect of some video footage is well within the realms of probability, but not until I gte back to the UK next weekend (can you hold out that long....??) __________________ Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears

03-25-2006, 02:37 PM	#13
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Dude. That NEVER woulda happened in America! (mutters) gddamn Anglash!(end mutters) Note: I am the great-great granddaughter of an Irish immigrant, starved out by the Anglash. Much like many of the warriors in BRAVEHEART, so, so...reap the whirlwind, CF! I kid, I kid!* __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum Last edited by Trilby; 03-25-2006 at 02:41 PM.

03-25-2006, 07:53 PM	#14
ashke Don't look at me! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Singapore Posts: 288	The golden crane screen is very nice though. Maybe you can think of them as conversation pieces...

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