Bush orders copies of Constitution removed

A Presidential Directive to remove all copies of the Constitution from both the White House and the offices of members of Congress was made public today by Faux News. The President stated that the document is out-dated and sounds like something a 60's commune of hippies would have written, not a sovereign nation like the US.

"The Constitution is for wimps," the President declared, "and I am no wimp. Do you think Al Gore or John Kerry would have had the guts to do something like this? It takes a REAL leader to make a decision such as this one."

"Did you know that the framers of the constitution powdered their hair and wore it in pony tails? You call people like that men? I call them bleeping, wierdo liberals whose agenda was to turn the US into a Commie nation. Well, the bastards failed, because for once, a US President has stood up to them."

"All members of Congress who fail to meet the requirements of this directive will be considered unlawful alien combatants and will be spending a vacation of undetermined length in Cuba."

"Oh, yeah. Monday, we will be invading Iran. Any reporter who askes me a question about any of this will be turned into Homeland Security for the safety of our country. Those who wish may now kiss my ring."






- Faux News, October 7, 2006