Physicians Are People Too

Clodfobble · 01-24-2007, 09:56 PM

So miniFob is teething, and has a cold with really bad nasal congestion, and had ridiculously bad gas last night... their powers combined, he woke up crying every twenty minutes all night long.

No, I'm not exaggerating. Every twenty minutes. (Unless, of course, you count the time period from 4:00 AM to 5:30 AM, during which he was just awake.)

I already had a doctor's appointment scheduled for him this morning because the aforementioned cold-with-low-grade-fever has dragged on for 2 weeks now, so as part of the symptom rundown I got to mention to his pediatrician the Sleeping Pattern From Hell.

Her response? "Oh honey, when he gets like that, just give him a ton of Benadryl, knock the little bugger out."

Not that it's necessarily bad advice, I do have a good sense of where the middle ground is between "sleep-deprivation psychosis" and "let the drugs do the parenting." I'm just used to hearing that kind of advice from friends and real-world parents, not people who have to pay for malpractice insurance.

monster · 01-24-2007, 10:29 PM

I love real people as pediatricians. What alternative were you expecting? (Not meaning to be combatative here, althought I realise I sound a bit that way) minifob is your first? How old is he? around 1?

OK think about how often you wake up when you feel like shit with a stuffed up nose, heartburn, and then let's add in bad menstrual cramps to represent the teething. the multiply it by the number of times he sleeps in the day and the number of extra feeds he has in the day etc etc..... his life goes much faster, things happen more frequently.

Yes, it feels like utter shit when you have to get up and be with him, but it's not so abnormal for someone so little. 20 minutes is a long nap for someone that age. OK, you're talking middle of the night sleep, but when you feel so crappy, it's hard to do much more than nap. the drugs will help him reach a deeper level of sleep than "nap level".

I know I sound unfeeling, but I'm not. I'm trying to say his behaviour is not worringly abnormal and i think that's what the pediatrician was trying to convey. I know his sleep pattern is awful. But this too will pass.

I love our pediatrician. Found her quite by accident. But turns out she's a real person too. This year, our youngest sons started KG together and ended up on the same soccer team. I am so thankful that now she sees the evidence that all those injuries are self-inflicted!

Aliantha · 01-24-2007, 11:12 PM

I guess most of us have expectations of people like doctors etc and are a bit blown away when they drop that professional detatchment.

Maybe it would have been more PC of her to write a script for a higher strength cough medicine and tell you how important it is to stick to the right dose etc, but ultimately, it'd end up being the same as what she suggested.

Our family doc is fairly straight with us. I like it. I think more doctors should enjoy the freedom of being able to communicate on different levels with their patients.

monster · 01-25-2007, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

I guess most of us have expectations of people like doctors etc and are a bit blown away when they drop that professional detatchment.

Not sure the doc is "dropping the professional detatchment". Are they more likely to be sued for suggesting over the counter cough meds or prescribing over-the-top POMs? I think the doc is being very professional -cf clearly understands what was said, and that's at least 90% of the battle.....

Aliantha · 01-25-2007, 12:13 AM

Ahuh...and the last professional to call you honey was? The manner of address was less than professional however, my point was that I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with that in context.

Anyway, maybe we have different ideas about how a doctor would 'normally' address a patient in a professional setting.

Beestie · 01-25-2007, 04:59 AM

The only consolation I can offer, CF, is to say that sometimes the answer is just that simple. I guess it would have been more cathartic if the doc tested for some bizarre strain of a rare affliction and prescribed some killer meds and after the two weeks you just had that may have been more satisfying.

But these docs have seen it all and, despite the toll it has taken on both of you, its just run-of-the-mill toddler stuff and part of what's scary about that is how vulnerable parents are to even mild discomfort in children.

I remember going through that with the li'l Beesties and at first it was maddening - "Whaddya mean there's NOTHING wrong?!?!? FIND something wrong!!" Nope - the little ankle-biter is fine - just miserable.

When your understandable frustration returns to the tolerable zone you will look back and be glad it was nothing and not "something."

monster · 01-25-2007, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Ahuh...and the last professional to call you honey was?

Probably the last southern one I came across.

Clodfobble · 01-25-2007, 09:47 AM

I guess I didn't make myself very clear... I wasn't expecting her to prescribe anything at all, he was there at their request to be checked out for having a 2-week long fever, not for the sleeping. I was just surprised that she suggested something which (though realistically a viable solution, and not going to hurt him in the slightest) on the surface seems fairly irresponsible, and not what a doctor would normally say when they're constantly playing CYA to avoid lawsuits. It would be like if you were nervous going to the dentist and he said, "Oh, just drink a ton of brandy before you come, that'll help." Not traditional medical advice. Typically I err on the side of avoiding unnecessary medications in general, so I would have expected her to say something like, 'Yes, that's normal, just tough it out' not 'Sure, dope him up until he can't feel his toes, then he'll sleep.'

For the record, the amount of Benadryl that she promised would keep him asleep for a minimum of 5 hours only kept him asleep for 2 and a half. It was funny though, because even though he was awake he was swaying around like he was drunk. Funny in the way that you're not supposed to laugh at it but you just can't help yourself.

glatt · 01-25-2007, 10:02 AM

Sounds like last night went better then. How are you holding up? You post sounds fine, so you must be OK?

Clodfobble · 01-25-2007, 10:17 AM

Oh sure, I can still manage to sneak in naps when he does during the day, and it's not like he was sleeping through the night before this anyway, so I'm used to it to a certain degree.

Perry Winkle · 01-25-2007, 03:26 PM

Sounds like the doctor is confident in your parenting skills, that you're not likely to over-do the meds to any dangerous degree, or anything silly like that.

monster · 01-25-2007, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grant

Sounds like the doctor is confident in your parenting skills, that you're not likely to over-do the meds to any dangerous degree, or anything silly like that.

Agreed.

I guess I just have different expectations of healthcare professionals, but I really was trying to be reassuring not critical. Good job I'm not a health care professional, huh?

Sorry, clod.

Shawnee123 · 01-25-2007, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grant

Sounds like the doctor is confident in your parenting skills, that you're not likely to over-do the meds to any dangerous degree, or anything silly like that.

Agreed, also. And, I replied just to say he's a real cute little feller, that one! I think one of the really hard things about being a parent would be when they don't feel well and you just want them to feel better so badly! I can tell you're a great parent, clod!

Clodfobble · 01-25-2007, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

I guess I just have different expectations of healthcare professionals, but I really was trying to be reassuring not critical. Good job I'm not a health care professional, huh? Sorry, clod.

No apology necessary! You definitely were reassuring, I just didn't happen to need any reassurance.

He's my first, but I have two older stepkids, and I'm pretty laid back about kids in general. I'm the parent who picks the toy right up off the restaurant floor and gives it back to him to chew on, figuring that it's building him a good immune system.

yesman065 · 01-25-2007, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grant

Sounds like the doctor is confident in your parenting skills, that you're not likely to over-do the meds to any dangerous degree, or anything silly like that.

That makes the most sense to me. Assuming this Doc has met you before and the two of you have interacted somewhat. What I mean is that he/she may not give everyone the advice he/she gave you. He/she probably trusts your parenting skills more than he/she does other patients or parents. In that sense you should take it as a compliment.

01-24-2007, 09:56 PM	#1
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Physicians Are People Too So miniFob is teething, and has a cold with really bad nasal congestion, and had ridiculously bad gas last night... their powers combined, he woke up crying every twenty minutes all night long. No, I'm not exaggerating. Every twenty minutes. (Unless, of course, you count the time period from 4:00 AM to 5:30 AM, during which he was just awake.) I already had a doctor's appointment scheduled for him this morning because the aforementioned cold-with-low-grade-fever has dragged on for 2 weeks now, so as part of the symptom rundown I got to mention to his pediatrician the Sleeping Pattern From Hell. Her response? "Oh honey, when he gets like that, just give him a ton of Benadryl, knock the little bugger out." Not that it's necessarily bad advice, I do have a good sense of where the middle ground is between "sleep-deprivation psychosis" and "let the drugs do the parenting." I'm just used to hearing that kind of advice from friends and real-world parents, not people who have to pay for malpractice insurance.

01-24-2007, 10:29 PM	#2
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I love real people as pediatricians. What alternative were you expecting? (Not meaning to be combatative here, althought I realise I sound a bit that way) minifob is your first? How old is he? around 1? OK think about how often you wake up when you feel like shit with a stuffed up nose, heartburn, and then let's add in bad menstrual cramps to represent the teething. the multiply it by the number of times he sleeps in the day and the number of extra feeds he has in the day etc etc..... his life goes much faster, things happen more frequently. Yes, it feels like utter shit when you have to get up and be with him, but it's not so abnormal for someone so little. 20 minutes is a long nap for someone that age. OK, you're talking middle of the night sleep, but when you feel so crappy, it's hard to do much more than nap. the drugs will help him reach a deeper level of sleep than "nap level". I know I sound unfeeling, but I'm not. I'm trying to say his behaviour is not worringly abnormal and i think that's what the pediatrician was trying to convey. I know his sleep pattern is awful. But this too will pass. I love our pediatrician. Found her quite by accident. But turns out she's a real person too. This year, our youngest sons started KG together and ended up on the same soccer team. I am so thankful that now she sees the evidence that all those injuries are self-inflicted! __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

01-24-2007, 11:12 PM	#3
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I guess most of us have expectations of people like doctors etc and are a bit blown away when they drop that professional detatchment. Maybe it would have been more PC of her to write a script for a higher strength cough medicine and tell you how important it is to stick to the right dose etc, but ultimately, it'd end up being the same as what she suggested. Our family doc is fairly straight with us. I like it. I think more doctors should enjoy the freedom of being able to communicate on different levels with their patients. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

01-25-2007, 12:13 AM	#5
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Ahuh...and the last professional to call you honey was? The manner of address was less than professional however, my point was that I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with that in context. Anyway, maybe we have different ideas about how a doctor would 'normally' address a patient in a professional setting. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

01-25-2007, 04:59 AM	#6
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	The only consolation I can offer, CF, is to say that sometimes the answer is just that simple. I guess it would have been more cathartic if the doc tested for some bizarre strain of a rare affliction and prescribed some killer meds and after the two weeks you just had that may have been more satisfying. But these docs have seen it all and, despite the toll it has taken on both of you, its just run-of-the-mill toddler stuff and part of what's scary about that is how vulnerable parents are to even mild discomfort in children. I remember going through that with the li'l Beesties and at first it was maddening - "Whaddya mean there's NOTHING wrong?!?!? FIND something wrong!!" Nope - the little ankle-biter is fine - just miserable. When your understandable frustration returns to the tolerable zone you will look back and be glad it was nothing and not "something." __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

01-25-2007, 09:47 AM	#8
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I guess I didn't make myself very clear... I wasn't expecting her to prescribe anything at all, he was there at their request to be checked out for having a 2-week long fever, not for the sleeping. I was just surprised that she suggested something which (though realistically a viable solution, and not going to hurt him in the slightest) on the surface seems fairly irresponsible, and not what a doctor would normally say when they're constantly playing CYA to avoid lawsuits. It would be like if you were nervous going to the dentist and he said, "Oh, just drink a ton of brandy before you come, that'll help." Not traditional medical advice. Typically I err on the side of avoiding unnecessary medications in general, so I would have expected her to say something like, 'Yes, that's normal, just tough it out' not 'Sure, dope him up until he can't feel his toes, then he'll sleep.' For the record, the amount of Benadryl that she promised would keep him asleep for a minimum of 5 hours only kept him asleep for 2 and a half. It was funny though, because even though he was awake he was swaying around like he was drunk. Funny in the way that you're not supposed to laugh at it but you just can't help yourself.

01-25-2007, 10:02 AM	#9
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Sounds like last night went better then. How are you holding up? You post sounds fine, so you must be OK?

01-25-2007, 10:17 AM	#10
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Oh sure, I can still manage to sneak in naps when he does during the day, and it's not like he was sleeping through the night before this anyway, so I'm used to it to a certain degree.

01-25-2007, 03:26 PM	#11
Perry Winkle Esnohplad Semaj Ton Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 2,259	Sounds like the doctor is confident in your parenting skills, that you're not likely to over-do the meds to any dangerous degree, or anything silly like that.

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