Sheryl Crow says you use too much toilet paper

Undertoad · 04-23-2007, 11:45 AM

Quote:

I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares [sic] of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgement [sic] I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out.

Sheryl: I'm pretty sure I know why Lance dumped you, and why you can't keep any other guy for longer than a few weeks. Evidence:

1) You're an insufferable nag over every little tiny thing.
2) Your ass hygiene is utterly foul.

Some guys can get past your #1 but none are going to get past your #2.

piercehawkeye45 · 04-23-2007, 11:47 AM

Haha, this is really stupid.

TheMercenary · 04-23-2007, 11:49 AM

She is an idiot, but I like her singing.

Shawnee123 · 04-23-2007, 11:50 AM

What a twit!

I heard she's been remaking some of her songs:

The First Butt is the Deepest

Soak Up Your Bung

If It Makes You Nappy

All I Wanna Poo

Sundae · 04-23-2007, 12:12 PM

One square per visit?
Two-three is a pesky occasion?

I am assuming this is a joke that has been taken seriously by a gullible journalist...? I hope so. Either that or you have some kind of uber toilet paper over there that you are not sharing with the rest of the world.

One square barely soaks up the drips after I've had a wee. And I keep myself very tidy down there - I imagine the square count would be much higher if I was fully furred. And using two-three squares in the pesky event of having a poo... well anyone who has discovered they are down to the end of the last roll after they've committed will tell you it isn't ideal. Putting your finger through the sheet anyone?

Bleuch - I agree that many people use an unnecessary amount, but there are much more pressing issues to be discussed. And when you do choose to discuss it, at least be realistic. I'd rather she suggested the Arab way of using water (and sometimes a cloth) than an unrealistic ration of the existing tools.

Cloud · 04-23-2007, 12:50 PM

I have one word: wipies

wolf · 04-25-2007, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cloud

I have one word: wipies

I'm sure they cause some other sort of ecological destruction, between the fresh-smelling chemicals and plastic boxes they come in.

These ecofreaks won't be happy until we are all foul-smelling hippies.

BrianR · 04-24-2007, 09:09 PM

I have always said that there is a deplorable lack of bidets in America.

Maybe now something good will come of her ranting.

In the meantime, I use as much as I deem necessary to clean myself.
And I have a box of wipes handy, too.

Scopulus Argentarius · 04-24-2007, 09:22 PM

"A Change Would Do You Good?"

That girl is funky in the truest sense.

If we'd listen to her we'd be waving the shitty finger at her.

04-24-2007, 09:26 PM

It was a joke.

TheMercenary · 04-24-2007, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

It was a joke.

yea, nice try... she is trying to cover her ass (with one double ply bit of Charmin), and it ain't workin...

Undertoad · 04-24-2007, 09:28 PM

So she says the day after the idea is broadly mocked.

04-24-2007, 09:36 PM

Look at the whole thing in context.

Happy Monkey · 04-25-2007, 11:50 AM

Wait, you guys thought she was serious originally?

Come on, she's human. Nobody uses one square.

milkfish · 04-25-2007, 12:57 PM

I'd go along with the program, as long as someone started producing TP in rolls that are 30 cm wide.

04-23-2007, 11:49 AM	#3
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	She is an idiot, but I like her singing. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

04-23-2007, 11:50 AM	#4
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	What a twit! I heard she's been remaking some of her songs: The First Butt is the Deepest Soak Up Your Bung If It Makes You Nappy All I Wanna Poo __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby Last edited by Shawnee123; 04-23-2007 at 12:00 PM.

04-23-2007, 12:12 PM	#5
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	One square per visit? Two-three is a pesky occasion? I am assuming this is a joke that has been taken seriously by a gullible journalist...? I hope so. Either that or you have some kind of uber toilet paper over there that you are not sharing with the rest of the world. One square barely soaks up the drips after I've had a wee. And I keep myself very tidy down there - I imagine the square count would be much higher if I was fully furred. And using two-three squares in the pesky event of having a poo... well anyone who has discovered they are down to the end of the last roll after they've committed will tell you it isn't ideal. Putting your finger through the sheet anyone? Bleuch - I agree that many people use an unnecessary amount, but there are much more pressing issues to be discussed. And when you do choose to discuss it, at least be realistic. I'd rather she suggested the Arab way of using water (and sometimes a cloth) than an unrealistic ration of the existing tools. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

04-23-2007, 12:50 PM	#6
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	I have one word: wipies __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

04-24-2007, 09:09 PM	#8
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	I have always said that there is a deplorable lack of bidets in America. Maybe now something good will come of her ranting. In the meantime, I use as much as I deem necessary to clean myself. And I have a box of wipes handy, too. __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

04-23-2007, 11:47 AM	#2
piercehawkeye45 Franklin Pierce Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Minnesota Posts: 3,695	Haha, this is really stupid.

04-24-2007, 09:22 PM	#9
Scopulus Argentarius Your current user title is: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: BTR Posts: 301	"A Change Would Do You Good?" That girl is funky in the truest sense. If we'd listen to her we'd be waving the shitty finger at her.

04-24-2007, 09:26 PM	#10
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	It was a joke.

04-24-2007, 09:28 PM	#12
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	So she says the day after the idea is broadly mocked.

04-24-2007, 09:36 PM	#13
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Look at the whole thing in context.

04-25-2007, 11:50 AM	#14
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	Wait, you guys thought she was serious originally? Come on, she's human. Nobody uses one square. __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

04-25-2007, 12:57 PM	#15
milkfish A serene breakdown Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Northern NJ, USA Posts: 266	I'd go along with the program, as long as someone started producing TP in rolls that are 30 cm wide. __________________ A genius is one who can do anything except make a living. - Joey Lauren Adams

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