The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Parenting

Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-11-2007, 05:24 PM   #1
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
Gifts

My stepdaughter's 9th birthday is coming up, and we are at a complete loss as to what to get her. Any suggestions?

I know you're going to ask, "What sort of things does she like?" and the answer is nothing in particular that we can determine. 99% of the time she fiddles with the baby's toys rather than any of the tons of things in her room. She wants to watch whatever the other kids watch, wants to do whatever everyone else wants to do. She is the ultimate people-pleaser and will not express an opinion even if pressed. She does like to read manga, and we've gotten several for her, but we need to get her more than just books.

So what would you get a 9-year-old girl you knew nothing about?
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 05:32 PM   #2
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
Pogs!

No, wait. I might not be the right person to ask.
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 05:39 PM   #3
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
a trampoline
__________________
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
lumberjim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 05:43 PM   #4
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
Books.

Stuff without batteries.

Craft-y cut it up and glue it together kits.

If she's attuned to the baby, maybe a baby doll of her own. I'm not sterotyping here, I'm trying to read your vibe. I saw a commercial this weekend of a "Mommy make me better" baby or something like that. Brings out the inner nurturer. The dolly has red leds behind her translucent cheeks. They glow when she has a "fever" and dim when the "medicine" is administered. The same for the heart shaped boo-boo on her wrist when covered with a band aid.

A musical instrument.

A special trip somewhere--the zoo, the museum, the science center.

A bike. I remember fondly my first two wheeled bike. My world expanded dramatically when I had my own "wheels".

A ball to play catch with. A glove. Not a baseball whiz yet? How about one of those kits that have hook covered paddles for the hands and a fuzzy ball. Velcro catch. Veeerrrrry easy to succeed. Or a throw toy called a foxtail--a ball with a long (three feet) fabric tail. If you miss late on the ball, maybe you'll trap the tail.

A kite.

Clothes. I love the sons and the daughter (and nephews and nieces) equally, but you have to admit, the girls are a lot more fun to decorate.

Jewelry, maybe a special pendant or earrings? Can she get pierced ears yet, Mom?

I could go on and on. I love kids.
__________________
Be Just and Fear Not.
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 05:47 PM   #5
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
My first reaction is to go into an independent toyshop and ask them - but I don't know whether these are prevalent in your area. Independent (proprietor owned) shops usually get feedback from parents and children and so can give you real feedback.

If she usually fiddles with the baby's toys I'd give her something small that uses imaginative play. She may still be interested in real toys and creating her own stories. Something like Sylvanian Families or Polly Pocket - as long as it's complicated, not just a toy figure.

One of the issues I find both working here and with friends/ family is that people assume that children grow up so quickly - and then complain how grown up they are. Girls up to 13 still appreciate small, delicate, intricate toys. And away from everyone else, a 9 year old will definitely role play. If you really think she is worldly wise and will despise these, Barbie is still a safe bet - again, role playing but with the fashion and lifestyle edge. Same with Girl's World (do they still do that? a head you apply make-up to and arrange her hair)

If she's a real people pleaser, give her a wonderful book. She'll read it to please you and you'll have given her a gift for life. I started to really rate books at 10 (as in books I will reread now). Something like Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House in Big Woods.

Hope you find something she enjoys.
__________________
Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac
Sundae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 05:51 PM   #6
Cloud
...
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 8,360
--Shoes from Zappos--some cool Converse perhaps?

--take her shopping for clothes if she likes that

--some "grown up" coloring books and a set of really cool markers. Dover makes some really nice ones, and there are educational ones on animals, anatomy, etc. that are fantastic.

--an ipod if you want to spend some bucks
__________________
"Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"
Cloud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 06:13 PM   #7
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
(I'm not trying to shoot you down here, I'm just trying to give you more insight into her personality for additional help...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigV
Craft-y cut it up and glue it together kits.
She has about 6 or 7 of them, never opens them.

Quote:
If she's attuned to the baby, maybe a baby doll of her own. I'm not sterotyping here, I'm trying to read your vibe. I saw a commercial this weekend of a "Mommy make me better" baby or something like that. Brings out the inner nurturer. The dolly has red leds behind her translucent cheeks. They glow when she has a "fever" and dim when the "medicine" is administered. The same for the heart shaped boo-boo on her wrist when covered with a band aid.
This is a possibility. She's only with us for a weekend at a time though, are there negative repercussions if the baby doll has a fever for two weeks?

Quote:
A musical instrument.
We have a nice keyboard, and she takes piano lessons at her mother's house but hates them. Maybe a recorder (you know, the kid-friendly flute-like things) or something though.

Quote:
A special trip somewhere--the zoo, the museum, the science center.
Her main birthday present last year was a trip to a local water park, and the year before that was a special trip out to see a play with her grandmother.

Quote:
A bike. I remember fondly my first two wheeled bike. My world expanded dramatically when I had my own "wheels".
She's had one since she was about 5, but still doesn't know how to ride it (doesn't have one at her mom's.) We work on teaching her a little bit each time she's here, but she's generally terrified of falling over and it's hard when you don't get regular practice.

Quote:
A ball to play catch with. A glove. Not a baseball whiz yet? How about one of those kits that have hook covered paddles for the hands and a fuzzy ball. Velcro catch. Veeerrrrry easy to succeed. Or a throw toy called a foxtail--a ball with a long (three feet) fabric tail. If you miss late on the ball, maybe you'll trap the tail.
The velcro paddles are a possibility. She has a foxtail ball (and it never gets played with... notice a pattern yet? ) Easy-to-catch would definitely be a requirement, she's not terribly athletically inclined. She's complained before that at camp they don't let her "sit and relax" enough.

Quote:
A kite.
She has two.

Quote:
Clothes. I love the sons and the daughter (and nephews and nieces) equally, but you have to admit, the girls are a lot more fun to decorate.
Unfortunately she views clothes as a simple necessity, not an enjoyable thing. Her relatives all give her clothes and she has told us (in private, she's a polite child!) that she doesn't understand it.

Quote:
Jewelry, maybe a special pendant or earrings? Can she get pierced ears yet, Mom?
She has pierced ears, and probably a half dozen each of earrings and necklaces, but she never wears them. She just keeps the same one pair of studs in her ears at all times.

Quote:
I could go on and on. I love kids.
Please do! I love kids too, and I'm usually the one who comes up with really awesome gifts, but this kid is just so introverted and really hard to figure out!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lumberjim
a trampoline
I'm not sure I'm ready for one of those huge monstrosities in my backyard, and the little round ones suck.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SundaeGirl
Something like Sylvanian Families or Polly Pocket - as long as it's complicated, not just a toy figure...Barbie is still a safe bet
At last count she has about a dozen Barbies and probably a similar number of Polly Pockets. She does play with them on occasion, but I kind of feel like giving her more of them is a cop-out? Maybe I'm trying too hard to expand her horizons though.

I was about her age when my mom got me a large and complex dollhouse kit where you painted and assembled the whole thing yourself. I really liked it once it was done, but I admit I got lazy and made her put most of it together. Maybe I could find something like that.
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 06:18 PM   #8
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cloud
--some "grown up" coloring books and a set of really cool markers. Dover makes some really nice ones, and there are educational ones on animals, anatomy, etc. that are fantastic.

--an ipod if you want to spend some bucks
We've thought about one of those large, really detailed posters, I forget what they're called, where the inked part is actually fuzzy like black velvet? It would take her forever to finish, but that might be part of the appeal. Her Lite-Brite has been one of the few artsy toys that's retained its fun for her.
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 06:28 PM   #9
Cloud
...
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 8,360
money?
__________________
"Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"
Cloud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 07:24 PM   #10
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
Get her a motorcycle and you could use it during the week.
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 08:05 PM   #11
SteveDallas
Your Bartender
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Philly Burbs, PA
Posts: 7,651
My daughter always liked Barbies, Polly Pocket, etc. at that age. (I prefer Polly Pocket myself. The accessories, being soft and flexible, are much less painful when you step on them in the carpet than the Barbie shoes etc.) But sounds like that's all tapped out.

My daughter suggests dress-up clothes. She also likes Tamagotchis.

How about a razor scooter? A pair of roller skates?
SteveDallas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 08:34 PM   #12
wolf
lobber of scimitars
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
How much are you looking to spend?

Is she the kind of kid that will do things with other people, or does she prefer to play by herself?

Admittedly, I was an usual kid, but a Hoyle's Complete Rules of Card Games (which includes solitaire games as well as games for two or more players) and two decks of cards was good for me for hours upon hours of amusement.

I collected Breyer Horses ... they're still around, but you might want to avoid dust-ables.

I was looking at the amazon.com listings for 8-11 years olds, but honestly, nothing really stood out. Scrabble is timeless, but a poor choice without someone willing to play with her.

I have four very expensive Native American Flutes, but I keep one of these in the trunk of the car in the event of a flute emergency. These plastic flutes have pretty good tone for the price, and they are very durable. It's musical, requires only a small amount of musical skill, but has a high coolness factor. It can reinforce a lot of the skills she's learning in piano, but without the drudgery associated with piano practice (I took piano, and a bunch of other kinds of music lessons, so I know what that's like).
__________________
wolf eht htiw og

"Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island

High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

Last edited by wolf; 06-11-2007 at 08:44 PM.
wolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 08:41 PM   #13
Jacquelita
Don't pop a vein
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: in my own mind
Posts: 289
When my daughter turned 9, instead of a birthday party, I took her and a few (3) of her friends to the mall to one of those "glamour shots" places.

The girls had fun getting made up (It was age appropriate). they each had a few outfits (supplied by the photographer) and we took group shots and individuals for each of the girls. It was not expensive (trust me - back in the day I didn't have an expansive budget) and my daughter and her friends had great take aways.

We still have the one large picture of my daughter hanging in the living room.
Jacquelita is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 09:02 PM   #14
Beestie
-◊|≡∙■∙≡|◊-
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Parts unknown.
Posts: 4,081
Yeah, maybe instead of giving her a thing you can do something together. A camping trip with one or two of her friends, a movie and ice cream, a day where "she is the boss" and decides what is for dinner, what movie to rent, when bedtime is, horseback riding...
__________________
Beestie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2007, 09:57 PM   #15
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
The RC Dragonfly! My 9yo daughter adores hers -she saved up to buy it. We all do in fact. I think I posted about it somewhere, wait.....
__________________
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
monster is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:48 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.