The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Home Base

Home Base A starting point, and place for threads don't seem to belong anywhere else

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-18-2007, 10:23 AM   #1
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
Getting a locksmith on the flat earth

I was locked out of my house on Tuesday.

I used google maps to find the locksmith closest to me, in Eagleville.

(Eagleville is three miles away.)

Called the number listed, and went through a series of ring-throughs until automation came on: select 1 if you are a new customer, 2 if you are a previous customer.

Ring-throughs again, to another automation: select 1 if you need immediate service, select 2 if you are a business with a contract.

Rings to a live human, who can barely speak English. He takes my name, address and telephone number. He cannot hear well enough for me to spell my last name. After he takes all my information, his "computer crashes" and he has to take it all again.

He then puts me on hold, and the hold music is a radio station. It plays some ads for places I'm not familiar with, and then announces that it's 101.5, Tampa Bay.

(Tampa Bay is 800 miles away.)

The guy comes back on to tell me that he has found a locksmith for me and located my address, and the locksmith will be at my house in 20 minutes, and will call 10 minutes out to verify. OK.

Wait 25 minutes, and the locksmith calls. The caller-id reports his area code as 702. Nevada.

(Nevada is 2000 miles away.)

In a thick Arabic accent, he asks for my cross-streets. He figures out where I am, apologizes for being late and says he'll be there in ten minutes. And sure enough he does show in ten more minutes, and proceeds to open the door in 5 seconds. As much as I've heard it takes a good locksmith only seconds to pick the house locks, it's always amazing to see. In his thick Arabic accent he again apologizes for being late, and explains that he had to drive up from Philly.

(Philly is 15 miles and one extremely crowded highway away).

The total price for the service is $149.
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 10:32 AM   #2
Spexxvet
Makes some feel uncomfortable
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,346
Sounds like globalization on a local level.
__________________
"I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce
Spexxvet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 10:35 AM   #3
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
locked out?...what happened....was there a staple lodged in the screen door lock or something?
__________________
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
lumberjim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 10:36 AM   #4
Flint
Snowflake
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Dystopia
Posts: 13,136
oooh that's so cool and inside because the n00bs won't know what you're talking about
__________________
******************
There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there
it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your
expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever
gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio
Flint is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 10:42 AM   #5
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
Getting locked out is what happens to you when you only use remote garage door openers for 15 years, forget about your usual front door key, and then one day your power is out for an indefinite period of time.
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 10:42 AM   #6
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flint View Post
oooh that's so cool and inside because the n00bs won't know what you're talking about
why don't you go cuddle with spexxvet or robsterboy?
__________________
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
lumberjim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 10:55 AM   #7
Spexxvet
Makes some feel uncomfortable
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,346
Quote:
Originally Posted by lumberjim View Post
why don't you go cuddle with spexxvet or robsterboy?
Because he'd have to take his dick out of your ass.
__________________
"I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce
Spexxvet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 10:58 AM   #8
Spexxvet
Makes some feel uncomfortable
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,346
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
__________________
"I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce
Spexxvet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 11:01 AM   #9
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
yeah...i started it in this thread....sorry T. I am very weak.
__________________
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
lumberjim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 01:58 PM   #10
ZenGum
Doctor Wtf
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
I want to know how UT used google maps if he was locked out.
I have no doubt he is possessed of technological superpowers, but assuming his computers are inside...

But the story of technology being at once brilliant and stupid ... yeah that sounds plausible.
ZenGum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 02:00 PM   #11
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
Not all the computers were inside.

plus, it says ip phones to me.
__________________
Be Just and Fear Not.
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 02:17 PM   #12
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
I was at work when I looked for a locksmith, but you know, I also have Google Maps on my Smartphone.
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 03:04 PM   #13
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
__________________
Be Just and Fear Not.
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2007, 10:00 PM   #14
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
So now you've hidden a key, right?
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2007, 04:14 AM   #15
Urbane Guerrilla
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Southern California
Posts: 6,674
Quote:
Originally Posted by lumberjim View Post
I am very weak.
Lumberjim, have you spent time in Turkey? That is the exact phrase they use to apologize for something.
Urbane Guerrilla is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:01 PM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.